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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Family, Illness, Money, Travel, Aaargh!

7 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 14/02/2007 12:52

I think I just want to rant.

My mom died last year. My parents normally spent their winters in Mexico.

This year, my dad hasn't yet gone, but says he wants to go for a month. He was going to travel down by car with other snowbirds, but they cancelled.

So my brother was going to go down, and I agreed to subsidise/pay for his trip (which is fine, we have more ££ and fewer kids than him, although it does make his recent bragging about ££ slightly odd). Now he's ill (well, he's been ill since January, but has just realised he can't go). But he did book tickets, so I'll send money to pay for that anyway.

I've asked him if any of his kids could go (many are over 18 - I expect they can drive?) instead. I am feeling guilty that I can't go, but frankly I don't want to. I find an hour in a car quite daunting, a week of eight-hours of driving per day would send me doolally. (Never mind spending that much time with my father, who, much as I love him, I have nothing in common with.)

It would make more sense to pay for my dad to go - buy him air tickets down. But he won't have a car down there that way, and I think rentals are expensive there ...

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Anniegetyourgun · 14/02/2007 13:36

Sorry, I'm not sure what the problem is, other than that you've unfortunately had to pay for a holiday that someone is no longer able to go on (sympathies for that). The rant bit comes in...where?

NotQuiteCockney · 14/02/2007 14:12

Hmm, I guess there isn't really a problem. I mean, I don't mind paying for things. I just don't know what my dad is going to do, or what I can do to help. (Not much really.)

I hope one of the nieces or nephews can help, at least that way Dad won't be travelling alone.

I am a bit annoyed at my brother, as the health problem has been a serious problem since January, so booking tix was a bit silly of him. But he was trying to be helpful (and manly, but not admitting illness). I don't know my brother very well, so it's all a bit random and strange.

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bran · 14/02/2007 14:21

It must be tough to be dealing with the minutae of your family's life from so far away. I don't think it's really an option for you to fly all the way there (leaving the kids behind presumably) to do the driving anyway.

This is presumably going to be an issue every year, although hopefully less of an issue as your dad gets more used to life without your mum. Do you think there could be a work-around that would mean less driving for your dad but also make sure he has a car. For instance could he buy a cheap car to keep down there permanatly? Or else fly to southern USA and buy a cheapish second car to drive down to Mexico and then at the end of the winter drive back to the states and sell the car again before flying back up to Canada?

NotQuiteCockney · 14/02/2007 14:25

I think the insurance is an issue, re: keeping a car down there. Not sure ... worth trying to discuss with him, I guess ...

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JodieG1 · 14/02/2007 14:42

I think you need to be over 21 or maybe older to drive abroad for insurance but I could be wrong.

NotQuiteCockney · 14/02/2007 15:06

Oh, but these people wouldn't be driving 'abroad'. I mean, they live there, iyswim. And if they're driving my dad's car, the insurance is ... I dunno. North American insurance is different, I can just say that. I drive my dad's car all the time when I'm home, I think I'm covered ...

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NotQuiteCockney · 22/02/2007 14:48

Ok, this is finally sorted. My brother's inside-Canada ticket is being transferred to his son, and he's getting a new Mexico ticket.

Apparently my brother hadn't thought of sending any of his kids! Duh.

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