Well he's left me for the other woman

[Standingonmytippytoes]

We had a break up a month ago after he cheated on me there's a post about it somewhere. During this break up he met another woman. We then reconciled for the sake of the Dc's and to give it another go for our own sakes.

He's now decided after being in communication with the other woman that it's not right here he doesn't want to be with me and hasaid gone to stay at the other woman's for the night.

The truly horrible thing is that I am very unwell at the minute and I need his help with the Dc's he's going to be back around here tomorrow morning after being with her. How am I going to get through this I really wanted us to work I never wanted to be a single parent I've been so angry all day.
I don't understand why he had to go to her tonight knowing I needed him for support why did he have to do this now! The stress is unreal. Help me please.

I'm sorry to say this OP but his order of importance from now on will be:

Himself
Her
Dcs

It's a well worn path, and his cheating, lying and blaming all suggest he will follow the script to the letter.

What is the position as regards your home? Joint mortgage, joint rent, other arrangement? Have you told him you don't want to be with him anymore? Quite frankly where he goes and who he lives with is not your problem. He made this mess, he can sort himself out.

As for over nights. Tell him that your dc are too young and have additional needs that mean this is not an option at the moment. He can see them in the family home (if this is bearable for you) or take them out somewhere. Or perhaps to a relative whom they know (his parent or sibling?). This needs to be on a regular basis to maintain some sort of routine for the dc. But stress that sleepovers anywhere are not an option.

Don't let him make this be about you being jealous of his gf. She's welcome to him. Try not to get drawn into anything other than what's best for the dc. I'm afraid it's almost a guarantee that you will be the only one putting their needs first.

This man is no longer your friend. Don't trust him, and get some legal advice/CAB visit. Knowledge is everything in these situations.

I had him taken off the lease when his cheating first came out. I have told him I don't want to be with him anymore.

He's told me he's 50 50 about living with her but yes I never thought of using his additional needs as a reason for no over nights. It seems unfair as though I'm taking his dc's away from him. I feel I'm very worried about this other woman.

I'm ashamed to say I scooped on his phone earlier and she was talking about decorating the Dc's bedrooms her and the ex have barely spent a week together who knows if they will last. I don't want to put the Dc's through this upheaval but she is welcome to him not my dc's.

She sounds mad and clingy

Ah op. It may not feel like it now, but in the long run, you will be much better off without this cruel fucker.

As a pp said, his list of priorities have now changed and top of the list of gis priorities, is HIM.

If it doesn't suit with OW, he will tru and worm his way back in with you. So sorry, he didn't know what he was thinking, his head was rurned etc etc.

Find your inner strength. Use your anger.

Sorry for the typo's. It's my fat digits

When ti e arrives I would let him kids as much as he want as you need a break . The OW will run for hill I expect .

He needs to get his bloody priorities straight - he's choosing a night with his bit of fluff over enduring his wife and children are ok .... he's the lowest of the low (total wanker!)

I had to get him to stay over and sleep on the sofa last night she was very un happy about this told him it wasn't an option once the kids were asleep there was no reason for him to be there she doesn't trust me ect.

It was a good thing he did stay in had to go to a and e at 5 am and I'm being admitted onto the ward with an infection.

But as much as I'd enjoy the peace if they live together in not allowing overnights. Not out of jealousy but for the sake of the dcs ds especially.
I'm going to talk to him about it once I'm out of hospital.

Get well soon Standing Let him deal with DC & you concentrate on getting better. Wishing you all the very best & a speedy recovery.

Take it easy OP. Hope you're up and about soon. You're right to stick to the no overnights rule. The dc come first. She's irrelevant in all this.

I told him today about the no overnights rule. He wasn't happy.

I also know one of the reasons that he was going to live with her is that she is disabled so would get a good amount of housing benefit her idea I pointed out that as he earns too much he'd need to pretty much support her. So I'm assuming they're not planing to claim as a couple which would all come out if he fought me in court for overnights.

Taking it easy thank you
Enjoying the rest and the pain killers.

You poor thing. Look after yourself op.

Standing, get well soon. What a horrendous time for you and your DC's. What an absolute twunt of a man leaving you to cope while so ill. Ow is clearly insecure. Good. I know it's hard but try not to torture yourself by looking at her fake Facebook posts. It sums her up the fact that she is bragging.