How do I tell DH

[betweenarockandahardplace]

that I don't love him anymore?

Why do you feel this way?

I have told him last weekend and he didn't believe me! So whatever I can advice may be useless... so I will be looking at this thread

Because over the years of our (long) marriage I have not been able to let the positive aspects of his character outweigh the negative, hurtful ones. I now feel stripped of any willpower to trust in our relationship. He thinks we should forget about the past and concentrate on the future but I've heard all of that before.
If I could leave I would but have no funds to do it.
Chandra, why doesn't he believe you?

maybe you should write down exactly how you feel and why.
then on a quiet evening you have set aside you could ask him to read the note and then talk after wards.

I find reading something in black and white helps it all seem more real as the person has thought carefully abnout what they want to say.

I asked that because dh said he didn't love me anymore a couple of months ago but after lots of talking and counselling he said he's realised that it's not that he didn?t love me, but he was just so unhappy with some aspects of his life that he thought the only way to change that was to split up. Happily we?re now giving things another try and focussing on putting right the things that made us both unhappy.

I wondered if it might be similar for you. But sadly, if you feel so hurt by him and have no trust and no motivation left in your relationship it is so much more difficult.

Does he have any friends/family that he could go and stay with for a while to give you both some space?

If he could make some positive changes, maybe see a counsellor, change his behaviour and start to win back your trust, do you think you would want to try and work things out?

Yes writing things down helped us tremendously too. Helps you to clarify your thoughts and focus on what you want/need to do.

Anwering to your question, I think he is soooo used at doing everything his way that he fails to see that I can have a mind of my own.

I might be projecting myself but... I think I understand what you are comming from, it gets to a point when you realise things are not to change and you don't trust the person's words anymore and want out.

My littlestar, I would say there are definitely some similarities between what you describe and my situation it's just that we've been here before and those avenues have been tried but I just don't feel things have changed in my heart. He has made one big commitment to a change in a particular aspect of his behaviour but I suppose I just don't really believe (care?) anymore because the damage is done. No, there is no one he can stay with.
Chandra, yes that's right. Admittedly I'm not necessarily perfect either. I just can't help feeling that we should just call it a day.
Writing could definitely help.

Round about a year ago my soon-to-be-ex asked why I felt like that, and a whole massive catalogue of 20+ years' worth of complaints tumbled out. He went very quiet, then said he realised he had been an a*hole and would make some serious changes. Then about two days later he said he'd had a rethink and realised that he hadn't done anything wrong, that all his decisions and behaviours over the years had had a good reason, and that I was only saying all this because I wanted an excuse to have an affair. I listened with horror, because he had so successfully reinvented the last two decades in his mind and totally misunderstood what kind of person I am, yet mixed with relief, because I would not after all have to give him a chance to change before I could get on with ditching him. He had made it quite clear he saw no reason to change; he would just sit out my little midlife crisis with a superior smile, and I'd climb back in the box eventually.