12 weeks pregnant My partner chocked me

[username1234mum]

What will the police do if I call??

Is the house owned or rented?

His name, your name or joint?

Are you legally married?

I would if it was just me but I have 3year old.

Rented and yes we are legally married.

If you were my dd it wouldn't matter I'd want you and my grandchild safe in my house. Same if you were my ds or friend.

Remember when you have a wobble post here again, people are here 24/7. But call your family now and get some real life support.

Tenancy in joint names?

Thank you 43percent I will

No reason why you shouldn't keep the tenancy if you're determined.

The DV police officer you should be referred to might be able to recommend good local solicitors with DV experience. Local women's aid will also have a list.

You can get legal aid on the basis of DV.

If he's bailed, his bail conditions should keep him away initially.

Be strong

God the wait for the police is killing me.the adrenaline just were off and I feel so exhausted and sick.

They'll take over. You just need to answer questions.

Where is he now?

.the thought of putting all on this on my family who have enough going on scares me

Imagine them also having to deal with their pregnant daughter having been murdered. Sorry if that sounds over dramatic, but men who are physically violent tend to up their game as time goes on, and choking is a particularly serious warning sign.

Good luck OP

You're a mum OP, how would you feel if your kid felt they couldn't come to you when they needed you?

Tell your family

Just hang in there, OP. You've taken a wonderful step towards getting out of an abusive marriage. As someone above said, let the police guide you now. Have you phoned your parents yet? Maybe in the waiting time you could do that? It's normal for the adrenaline surge to leave you exhausted and nauseous. Any chance of you eating anything for physical energy? Even just cereal? Don't answer the phone to stbxh should he ring in the meantime.

Womens Aid phone number - 0808 2000 247

Have you got important documents like passports, birth certificates to hand? Might be worth getting things like this together just in case you do need to leave the house quickly

You've done so well making that call.

I hope they are with you now or very soon.
Tell them everything.
All the history.
You know you now to get away from him.
He is likely to kill you and you need to be there for DC.
Please tell your family.
If you were my DD I would really want to know and help and protect you.
Although I'm not sure what type of household you grew up in think staying with an abuser is OK. As you say you've never reported the violence.
Make sure the police know the full back story.

Please also contact Womens Aid.
They can help you with local services (as can the police) and an exit plan if he won't go and you need to.

Well done for calling.
That's a huge step you've taken today to take control of your life.

Please remove yourself and your child from that situation womans aid can get you into a refuge domestic violence can seriously damage a child

How are you now? Hoping the police are with you.

You are doing the right thing, 100%

I know this is hard, and it gets harder before it gets easier but I promise you it gets 1000% easier. You are absolutely doing the right thing by getting out and if you need a hand holding I am sure each and everyone here will do that for you.

Make sure you get a referral from the police to the Domestic Violence team OP, it will probably just be whichever officers they have available who come to take your initial statement but you should get a follow up visit from the DV team who will be able to guide you through the best ways to stay safe. Definitely call Women's Aid but if you struggle to get through in the national number (it does get very busy but is quieter in the evenings) there's a function if you scroll down this page www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-abuse-directory/ to search for services in your local area which can be easier to get through to. Get advice about whether it's safe to try and stay in your home from the police and WA but please don't shy away from asking your family for help and support, they wouldn't want you to go through this alone I'm sure

Thank you everyone. The police came they took a statement they said they will go to his work and arrest him. I've called me sister and I'm over at my parents house now. The police gave me information on where I can get more help so that's good.

I'm sure he will get the shock of his life because he never thought I will actually call the police.

Well done

Well done OP you are so brave.

Well done op you totally did the right thing now stay strong