OH and I have been together for 8 years & have 3 DC.
I recently had an affair with someone I met at work and both OH and OMs OH have found out. I came clean about everything and basically told him I'm totally fed up with life the way it is, I never tried to put the blame on him but it's the truth, we have a lot of issues in our relationship but on the outside everyone thinks we are this perfect family and basically I'm lucky to have such an 'amazing' OH and I hate it. We decided to have a fresh start and spoke about a lot of things, but tbh he bores me to tears and always has done, hes good looking but has no personality, we've been together since we were teenagers and I feel as if we barely know each other, I do love him but I'm not in love.
My problem is that we split up 2 years into our relationship when we only had 1 child, him and his family made my life hell, they played mind games, and used to talk about me to anyone who would listen, he made everything difficult for me and made sure I had nothing, and it was him that had left, it wasn't as if I had kicked him out and he was desperate for me back and that was why he was doing it. When he found out about the affair he was going to leave and I never argued much but then all the nastiness started straight away, like cancelling all our household bills, sky, contract phones, ect instead of trying to put them into my name, he was going to take both cars and leave me with none, take certain items out the house that we need and it was just a reminder of the way he was the last time we split up and I couldn't face that again it's totally drained the life and soul out of me.
I don't think I want to be with him but I don't think I can cope with the stress and misery he brings me when I'm not with him. Any advice.