Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Whats being a wife and mother? Sorry its a long one....

4 replies

rorytiger · 14/02/2007 09:55

Had row with DH this morning and he said I had to stop treating him like a servant and 'start being a wife and mother'?!

We both work fulltime and have two DDs under three. I have a two hour commute to work and his work takes him all over the South Coast depending on what job he gets sent too. I thought we had a good arrangement set up - I get up two hours before I need to leave the house, get all the lunches ready, pack bags, give the babes their breakfasts, get them dressed. He then sometimes drops me off at the train station and then drops the girls off. I also get the bus or drop the girls off myself when he has to leave early on a job. He picks them up from nursery, gives them their tea and gets ours started for when I get home. (about 2 and a half hours in total). I get in around 7ish, finish giving the girls their bath, put them to bed, finish and dish up dinner, wash up, put away, have shower, finish anything off like folding up washing, putting it away etc - then think about parking my bum on the sofa - usually 9-9.30. He is extremely houseproud, where as I am to a point - the house it always tidy as it can be with two little ones creating a whirlwind of mess behind you as (try) to clear up. (Leaving stuff out winds him up.) Anyway, he had yesterday off as holiday as we had someone coming round to fix the boiler, and took it on himself to clean the house from top to bottom. (The girls still went to nursery.) Don't get me wrong, the house did look fantastic and tidy but if I had a day off the last thing I'd want to do is spend all day cleaning and then obviously get all resentfull about doing it?! When I have anytime off he comes home and asks me what I've been doing with my day with regards to housework which drives me nuts. If he's spent his day off playing his xbox I wouldn't have minded as everyone is entitled to time-out and time-off? Am I missing the point here?

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 14/02/2007 10:00

In what way are you 'treating him like a servant'? By not physically stopping him from tidying the house when he's off for the day?

Seriously, if he is more houseproud than you, he can do the extra cleaning. Or you can get a cleaner in. Either way, it sounds like you are already doing loads.

happystory · 14/02/2007 10:01

Surely it was his choice to clean the house from top to bottom? It doesn't sound as if it was in dire need.He sounds like he's got very high standards but as you say that's pretty difficult to maintain when you're both working and have 2 small dds. No advice really but wanted to agree with you

Pinotmum · 14/02/2007 10:07

You didn't thank him and praise him enough for all his work and he's hurt . I think you both sound pretty busy to me and I'm amazed you're both still standing!

calebsmummy · 14/02/2007 10:22

It's well known that we as mothers/wives are expected to do everything without any kind of appreciation from our partners, but when they do it we have to kneel at their feet and be forever indebted to them! Didn't you know that ?

Seriously, it sounds as though you are run off your feet already and I really don't think you DH comment was fair at all. If he wants to spend his day off cleanin, then thats his choice, he shouldn't moan at you for it. I do pretty much everything here but I don't work full time like you. I kind of expect to most stuff, but if I was workint I would expect him to share the load.

Can you send him here? Teach DH the art of being houseproud

New posts on this thread. Refresh page