My relationship is over. Tonight

[DoneAndDustednow]

My girlfriend is leaving. Sorry am crying.
I left me husband for a chance to be with her. Always felt like I was gay but never found anyone. I thought she was amazing.

She lives far away. Everything blew up tonight and basically she never intended to make this a lifetime thing or move. Made noises she would all along.

Many nasty things were said. No coming back

I wrecked my family. I have severe MH issues anyway. I thought living 'openly' would ease my head struggles

Everythibg is 10x worse.

I wish i could kill myself but i have small kids

I want to go back in time and put my family back together

What have i done

I wrecked my family. My kids have a broken home now. I thought i would be happier. Stable. Its all a living hell now. I cant cope alone

Am so sorry to hear this. Is it definitely all over with her, do you think?

I'm so sorry

Do you have a friend or family member you can call right now for support?

Are your kids with you? I know it's late right now but can you plan something really nice to do tomorrow or later this week or weekend with them? Something to make you all feel connected and re-focus your attention on them and the love between you.

I'm so sorry that's awful for you, its so difficult when relationships end. Please take care of yourself. Plenty of children grow up in families when their parents have separated and are absolutely fine and very successful well rounded individuals. They just need to know their parents care about them.

If you have MH issues do you have anyone in RL who could support you?

I take it you definetly don't love your husband any more?

I do love him but obviously that is over now. I made a shit poor decision. Had my disney glasses on.

I don't know how I'm going to get through the day. I keep being sick.

I'm sorry you are going through this.
How involved is your ExH with the DC?
Could he take them for the weekend to give you a bit a head space?
If you need an anonymous impartial person to hear your worries then please do call the Samaritans.
They are there to help you and listen.
Real life support would be good too.
Do you have anyone you can talk to about all of this?
If you are gay then staying with your DH would not have been the right thing to do.
You need some time to come to terms with everything that is happening right now.
I would also advise you to go to your GP.
If you are feeling suicidal then you will need some help.
You mention MH issues so are you already on medication?
Ask GP to refer you for counselling.

Deep breaths....it will be fine in time.

This woman was the catalyst in your decision to leave yor husband - you did leave your DH for the right reasons even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. I did exactly the same thing just over 2 years ago. Was in an unhappy marriage, plodding along, had my head turned by someone and left my DH. I never left for his other guy, but I certainly did leave because of him.

Do you have any support around you. Try and keep busy, it will pass, I promise. I felt exacty the same as you but kept telling myself I left for a reason as did you. You did not break up a happy family, if you were happy you would not have moved onto someone else.

Op I was married for a long time unhappy marriage 3 young children I had my head Turned by a new man he gave me attention love thrills everything I left my husband and family to be with new man I regret the way it turned out as my young children don't live with me they stayed with dad but I do love my new man and believe it or not its something I live with every day because it's hard in your situation we all make choices and have to live with the outcome i do feel for you and wish you all the best op