Worried about old photos

[tigerdriverII]

I've posted about this before but can't find my old thread.

I clearly recollect my dad taking 'artistic ' photos of me when I was about 10. Me in the nud playing the piano and posing in a doorway.

I finally spoke to my elderly mum about this today and despite her fabulous memory of anything more than 30 years ago she dismissed my memory with the fabled MN tinkly laugh.

I don't quite know why I'm posting but none of this seems right.

This doesn't sound 'right' at all and it obviously makes you feel uncomfortable. Have these memories just resurfaced was their something that prompted you to think about it?

Hi. Resurfaced about a year ago after something pretty innocuous made me think about it. I'm 100% certain that the photos happened. Also had a really horrible dream about my dad recently which shook me up (am on medication which gives me vivid dreams).

Is your dad still alive? What/was your relationship like? 10 years old although young is quite old in terms of forming and keeping memories but if something traumatic happens then we are very good at blocking it out and burying it.

I have a kind of similar thing where I found pictures of me as a baby totally naked and you could see my bits quite intimately. I always have had a sense that something happened to me but not sure from who and what and seeing this pic really disturbed me.

I don't have any specific advice but didn't want to read and run. Your mum's reaction sounds very strange, not "what on earth are you talking about?" more "I hope this would never come up". Could you ask her, flat out, what she did with the photos?
It sounds like the kind of thing you should speak to a therapist about. As a 10yr old you would have trusted your parents completely. What happened wasn't your fault.
Sorry, and sorry to mummarichardson too, that this has stirred memories for you also.

Thanks for coming back to me. My dad died about 7 years ago. I loathed him but would find it hard to explain why. I also think the pictures were taken on a Polaroid as I can distinctly remember my mum saying that you couldn't take the pictures to the chemist (for developing) as they might get the wrong idea.

Oh God OP that sounds awful, you poor thing x

OP I'm sorry, you must be feeling pretty confused. Do you feel able to approach your mother about it again?

I think it's possible that mum will 'remember' something now I've raised it. I was pretty surprised that she just dismissed it tbh. She's elderly and frail so I don't want to press too hard. After I mentioned it she told me how upset my dad was when I left for Uni. All 'losing his little girl ', the bastard.

I definitely think it sounds like something you should talk to a therapist/counsellor about, as a PP said, and maybe approach your mum again in a few days/weeks.

My mum has always done the "tinkly laugh" thing about less-than-ideal parts of my childhood (nothing like those photos, though, just things like smacking which I remember clearly but my mum is sure never happened)

I remember your previous thread and am not surprised your unsettled feelings are not abating

I second the RL help advice

Thanks all. I talked about it with DH tonight, and his reaction spurred me on to post this. Will look into some sort of therapy (completely not me! But needs must).