I've never told anyone this before, guess I'm embarrassed and ashamed. Been thinking about it a lot as I'm in an EA relationship atm and always tend to pick the wrong guys. Just felt like I finally needed to tell some.
When I was about 9/10 or younger my cousin used to sexually assault me. My memory is hazy so I can't remember exactly what happened and how many times but I remember being scared or him and him doing it a few times.
He's. 3 years older than me so must have been 12/13. When me my mum and sis would visit I'd go to his room to play on the computer. He wouldn't let me leave unless we did the "password". What I remember is him making me put my legs around his neck and squeeze. A few times when I had a skirt on he would make me sit on his shoulders but the other way around and put my skirt over his head. I think I remember laying in his bed and him being down there but that's only vague.
I once said to my other cousin does he make you do passwords, he just replied no and I remember trying to stay with them to avoid being on my own with him. He would be very forceful with not letting me out of the room and I remember a feeling of panic. Is it possible I could have blocked other things out of my head and that's why it's hazy?
Please no bashing, like I said this is the first time I've ever said anything at all!