Drinking?

[crazy525]

Okay.
5 months pregnant. Unplanned but absolutely amazing. She's all I can think about.

OH mind you; he's been going out getting drunk most weekends leaving me pregnant at home.

Tonight he then told me he's going out with his mates drinking and he's not coming home.

I've felt rough all day and just worry because I'd need him if anything was to happen.

I don't know whether he's 'getting it out of his system' (he never used to go out this much) or having a little mid life crisis.

I don't say much as I can't be bothered with an argument.

Any advice?
Thank you all in advance I really appreciate it xx

My advice is stop being a doormat.

Sort it now because when you are postpartum, exhausted through lack of sleep and physically recovering from being run over by a trust (giving birth) and he is still taking the poss you will wish you listened to me

*piss

*truck

My typing !

I second getting your own place: at the moment he can do what he like and you're just hanging on waiting for some sign he'll be a good dad and partner. You will be more vulnerable on maternity leave and with a newborn. Better to be in control of your own destiny than the supplicant.

Get settled independently and make yourself and your baby a home - currently you don't have one - it's his and you can't say anything to him about his behaviour or his mates staying over. That's just not going to get better by the miracle of birth.

It's not just about when the baby arrives though is is .

What about you ? You say you work so I assume between the two of you your out of the house working all week so when do you have time together ? Baby or not I could not be arsed with someone who penny the entire weekend with their mate why doesn't he want to spend time with you or take you out ??

It may well be his flat on the tenancy or whatever but at what point will it also be considered you home ??

Spent not penny

I've felt rough all day and just worry because I'd need him if anything was to happen

you actually wouldn't 'need' him because you can manage just fine on your own. Thousands of women are single mothers and were during pregnancy.so get out of that mindset. You can cope fine on your own.

but its a completely different point as to whether you should expect support and respect from the fathér of your unborn child who you are in a relationship with.doesn't sound like you are getting either.

I am pretty confused. Where do you live?

Let's say you live together (which would make it your flat too, not his alone) I wouldn't be okay with my OH going out every single weekend, without fail, and I certainly wouldn't be okay with having someone in my home for the whole bloody weekend. He is taking the piss, he knows he's taking the piss too but you aren't saying much about it... Why exactly? He isn't going to transform into a responsible dad-of-the-year type overnight when that baby comes. He'll likely get worse, he'll blame it on stress and he'll take the piss even more than he does already. Is that what you want?

To me, it isn't even just about the pregnancy. Someone who works all week then drinks/is hungover all weekend (how old is he btw?! ) sounds like a shit boyfriend. What do you two actually do together? Does he make time for you?

So even when pregnant his mates come before you, preferring to go out on the lash with them than spend time with you and taking care of you, in fact, he's goes one step further and has the mate staying nearly the whole weekend, fgs OP, why do you think anything will change when baby arrives, as Anyfucker has said, you will just be even more trapped then.

You need to have it out with him because what you are effectively saying is it's alright for him to treat you like crap but hopefully he will be a hands on dad, is that really enough for you in a relationship?

He sounds quite young?

I have some friends whose husbands do this. They don't generally stop. It can go one of two
Ways- you spend your weekends wound up, upset and arguing about it or you accept he goes out at the weekends because that's what he wants to do. He's an adult and maybe not a very considerate one, but he's the one you're having a baby with. If you stay you might have to think about just accepting it

He will likely not step up when he becomes a father either; he puts his social life and drinking before you now and there is really no sign of that changing. He will likely still act the same when he does become a father.

You should also not tolerate the weekend guest who uses the flat as a crashpad. Are you afraid not to say anything because you fear his reactions?.

You need to make plans going forward without him in them day to day; he is already letting you down here and will continue to do so. He is really a poor example of a partner to you now really.

I think you need to have a conversation about the baby and how much you both will need to change when baby arrives.

He would annoy the hell out of me. What grown man has his friends to sleep over at the weekend. Sounds like there's a lot of growing up to do. Good luck.