How would you take these texts?

[pullingmyhairout2]

Neighbour of mine text me to ask if I would check his gate to make sure it was locked. Did so and replied to say it was locked and had he lost his marbles?
There were a few texts after saying thanks and sorry to bother you Etc . Then one saying to get on with my housework and me replying no chance with the kids on holiday, tea and biscuits more like.
Then he sends me a text saying I hope you are deleting these text i don't want anyone seeing them, just you and me?
I was a bit taken a back by that and didn't reply straight away so he text again saying no reply then?
So I replied saying I'm confused as to why you want me to delete these texts? To which he replied, Its not that, I need to say things to u but I can't.

What would you think if you received those texts?

Can't believe I've been so stupid. if this is what politeness gets you they can all fk right off!

You havent been stupid, you have assumed the best in people which is what most of us do. Not your fault that he is stupid, attempting to shit on his own doorstep, almost literally!

As for the text, suggest that your husband texts him to say that it was sent in error from you and was meant for DH, that way you cant be accused by him or his wife of anything.

What did you text?

Muddlewitch. The text read, give him a shock.xxx!!!
Was about someone my husband works with. I'm hoping their reception is as rubbish as mine and will magically disappear into a big black hole somewhere.
Bogeyface, thankyou. I've told my husband what happened with the text.am tempted to tell the neighbour that the reason it ended up being sent to Him was because I was asking the lovely people of mumsnet whether he was a twat or not.Then gloating that its unanimous! And he is in fact the biggest twat going.

Perhaps you could send a pretend group text?

Hi all! sorry for the group text but I managed to send a message to everyone that was meant for "DH"! Yes yes I know, I am an idiot! Love Pulling x

I did the same you know. I blamed myself for being polite and nice to the guy, he was DHs friend after all, when I should have shut him down straight away. But thats how these guys work. THey never say anything that you can shut them down for, so if you do then you look like a paranoid loon. So you carry on being polite and end up in the situation of feeling like this. ITs them, its always them!

Good thinking bogeyface.

Feel a bit less stressed now. Was sure that someone would say I'd misunderstood it. Really have got to work on trusting my first instincts.

Yes Bogeyface that's exactly what they do!

Ok going against the grain but I have a friend's partner who would joke with full knowledge of his wife with things like that. Winding people up was his thing. I personally wouldn't act bothered. I wouldn't block but wouldn't respond again to be safe. Just act like whatever get on with it.

But that implies that the issue is the OP's Anxious

So what if him and his wife are ok with it, if the recipient isnt? If the recipient is uncomfortable about the "banter" then its up to him to pack it on, not the OP to get over it. I hate the idea that someone feeling very unhappy about a wind up should end up feeling that they cant take a joke. Perhaps the joke just aint fucking funny.

If that was a joke then I'm the pope!
His wife replied to the text I sent asking why I had sent it. I just told the truth and said it was meant for my husband and no it wasn't about him. She's replied, she's sorry it's come to this, he was joking, didnt mean for me to feel this way. I need to delete his number. Blah blah blah.
I get why she's in denial but by heck she is not pinning this on me!

He's been well caught out. Hopefully his wife will finally take action and kick him to the kerb. Sleaze bag, urgh.

She won't unfortunately. It's what he deserves but she just can't see it. It's a shame because I really liked her as a neighbour and a friend.

Good on you Pulling, for getting this out in the open, and nipping it in the bud, well done.
So many women, as said previously, hope it'll go away, are too polite , or think they're imagining it.
These sort of creeps are manipulative and cover their tracks well.
Let's hope he backs off. When he asked you to check the gate, he was probably leering at you, from behind a curtain, eeew. 😡

I think you and your DH have an honest relationship and you did the right thing.
I think they have issues and she doesnt want to see them.
Stay away and be glad you have something good with DH.

I don't suppose she'd have an answer to the fact that, if your laughing about him having 'a small knob' was leading him on....why wasn't your husband laughing about it doing the same?

Not just head in the sand, but sexist with it.

Next time you have contact with her you need a quick sentence, maybe:

"I know you need to believe that, but it has been a very unpleasant experience for me"

And why didn't you tell that it is him who needs to delete your number... him having initiated the whole thing?

Get snippier, be blunt. Being polite will just gain you a reputation that hides his behaviour!

Enjoy the freedom to be blunt

Oh I'm going to be blunt from here on in. She's come home early from work, so she's either needing some space to think without him being there or she's gonna come round for round 2. In which case she will get all barrels. I'm not going to be used as a scapegoat for her pathetic excuse for a husband!
I hate confrontation but heck I'm ready for it this time!

And thankyou to everyone too. I was really going out of my mind thinking I must have caused this. Going over the conversations that I have had with him, trying to work out why this is my fault. But you've all made me realise this isn't my problem.
Don't expect life to be that easy from now with them living next door but since I get on with the rest of the neighbours and he's managed to annoy most of them, things will still be nicer for me than him.
7ft fences being ordered asap!

Evergreen17
Thankyou, that message nearly made me cry. All this has made me realise that we are both a lot stronger than we think at times.