How many chances would you give someone to rearrange a first date?

[Nabootique]

He has cancelled twice now at short notice and I think that's probably enough to say "thanks but no thanks". Flakiness is such an unattractive quality!

That's what I said Salty, but he didn't really respond to that bit.

Family meal sprung on him - bollox, either he couldn't be bothered or forgot a prior engagement, neither are appealing. I would bin.

His excuses do seem quite solid. If you think you might actually like him maybe agree to a third attempt with a jokey caveat that this is very definitely his last chance? Sometimes life does get in the way.

I think if I'd cancelled on someone twice but still really wanted to meet them id absolutely be falling over apologising and immediately rearranging with something nice and thoughtful to make up for it. Doesn't sound like he's doing that though.

Do you want to give him another chance, do you think it's potentially a good match? If so I'd give him the option of a third attempt but would expect him to absolutely fall over himself to apologise and make it up to you. If he doesn't seem that bothered I'd sack him off tbh.

No, twice is enough. People have work stuff come up at short notice, that's okay, the second one, either he forgot about the family thing and lied to you about it, or the family thing came up at very short notice and he chose a last minute plan over meeting you,

I'd sack him off and move on

I wd let him do the running re a plan for next time but I wd go.....

I'm a search and rescue volunteer, and can be called out at any hour day or night on very short notice, if I was cancelled on by someone with similar reason to this then that'd be acceptable, the covering at work is also ok with me, but the family dinner - weak excuse in my book and would be reluctant to bother for a 3rd attempt unless really fancied them / they really apologised greatly!

Thanks all. When he cancelled Monday night he said "but I'm still free Wednesday!", which had been when we had planned originally, but then moved to Monday (my idea), saying if that went well could do Wednesday as well. So I did message yesterday and said something like "Is Wednesday happening because I don't think it was really confirmed?", as in I hadn't actually said yes, and got no reply. So that's that now!

It depends how much you like him and whether you think his reasons for cancelling are acceptable. I was let down yesterday on four hours notice because he was ill and didn't want to pass on his vomiting bug, which would have been fine if it hadn't taken two weeks to rearrange after he'd cancelled the day before due to work commitments. He's getting one more chance and then that's it. Good luck!

Are you sure that he isn't already in a relationship Naboot? If he is single, he would be a bit flakey for me, sorry.

It's so hard! I've had this. He text ten minutes before the first date to say he couldn't make it. I deleted his number, told him not to bother etc

Then he did contact me, arranged second date, he turned up poorly and we both left.

Arranged third date and again it didn't happen due to timing his end. Told him I was disappointed with how things were and wished him well

Then he text me a few days later. We finally had our date and it's going well.

BUT he is Mr Laid back. So it is hard to tell if he just isn't bothered or is just chilled about it all!

I figure that time will tell, I'm not putting myself out, but I'm not messaging anyone else anyway so nothing to lose really x

This would annoy me too much so I would bin him. I need to be with someone who sticks to plans as that's generally what I'm like.

I don't like unreliable people. Also if he has to go in when someone's sick, does he have time for a relationship? Actually if a man faffs around about arranging and ticking to a date then I do think to myself he won't have time for a relationship if he can't even manage this so, whats the point? Id only get bored of it all further down the line. Reliability is easier to live with

A little update - we did have a date after all, and we have just had our third. Going really well so far, and he's been making the effort to get the next date arranged quickly

Lovely news

Hope all continues to go well

Thanks Rainbow

My DH and I met online and spent an entire year trying to arrange our first date! We lived a fair distance apart, our work shifts clashed, he had a tough time with his mental health for a few months and it just never seemed to fall into place. Finally we decided it was make or break time, we met for a drink in 2012 and we've never gone longer than five days apart since!

We got married in April

Aww, that's lovely amusedbush It took us three months to sort out the first date, mostly due to work. I've seen him a few more times since my last post and it's still going well. Dinner tonight!

Ooh, enjoy! Glad to hear it's going well!