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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This isn't me, is it???

9 replies

Foslady · 06/11/2016 09:49

Been off the dating game for years but surely to God it hasn't changed this much?

Met through OLD. First day day great chat, second day arrange to meet up, third day 'if we get on as great in real life let's go away abroad to bucket list destination ( hmm ), forth day 'Looking at your pics and I want you (to fuck me), day before meet up 'I don't want to go home after we've met up tomorrow night'.

We did meet after I'd told him that it wasn't going to happen, (but I wasn't impressed at the kiss that led me to knowing how turned on his was.....) and then a text next day asking about 2nd date and if it was going to happen. When I said he was a great guy but needed to not be so full on I got back 'It's the way I am, I told you I was like that if I liked you' ( but at the original time also added so tell me to calm down).

Surely now you're not expected to sleep with a guy you've only spoke to on a first date these days?

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 06/11/2016 09:55

They might expect it (in my experience with OLD some do and some don't) but you set your boundaries and stick to them. When I was doing a lot of OLD I put on my profile exactly what my expectations were and it went something like this "if you are just after a quick shag then jog on" Grin

It's a bloody minefield and some sites are a bit more ermmmm meat market than others. Good luck and don't let the odd ones get you down and don't get too emotionally invested too early xxx

Foslady · 06/11/2016 10:00

Thanks - I've just updated so let's see if I get contacted now.......

OP posts:
AfterSun · 06/11/2016 10:01

You weren't impressed with him overstepping your boundaries the first time you met. You're not impressed with him wanting to rush things.

Ditch and find someone who does impress you with how lovely they are.

FishyWishies · 06/11/2016 10:03

Well the clues were there before you met up. Avoid the pushy ones.

Whocansay · 06/11/2016 10:06

I suspect as soon as you have sex with him, you won't see him for dust.

Foslady · 06/11/2016 10:19

He's history, but I wasn't sure if it was me -married 1st boyfriend, when that broke up ended up in a long term with someone who was initially a friend so I'm a bit clueless on what's the fine thing.......

OP posts:
Foslady · 06/11/2016 10:20

Fine thing? Done thing!

OP posts:
Chinnygirl · 06/11/2016 10:24

It doesn't matter what the done thing is (if there is such a thing). You are looking for the one unique person to spend your life with. He can't recognise that it's you if you are not acting as yourself. If you want to shag him, do. If not, then don't. Don't try to be like a zillion others.

I hope you find someone soon.

ravenmum · 06/11/2016 12:44

Follow his example and just be yourself!

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