OH is now breadwinner as I have gone freelance after maternity leave. I used to earn a decent wedge but now it's much less until I pick up new clients.
I work from home and fit it around 14 month old and 10 year old. I do all housework, cooking, cleaning, washing, and look after the bloody big dog that he refuses to walk. I generally bring home a little less than I would working full time, after childcare, but I know this will pick up home over time.
OH has only ever had DD2 on his own once when I did a guest lecture 40 minutes away. DD2 was just a year old and there were no issues. However, trying to get him to pull his weight with anything is real hard work.
Tonight I have a deadline and asked him for an hour of his time to look after the baby whilst the biggest went out with his sister. He sat on his phone whilst she chalked up the walls and sofa. I sat at kitchen table trying to work whilst DD2 got fed up of him ignoring her and cried for my attention.
He then said he was done and going upstairs (to the box room, where his computer is, where he spends most of his time gaming).
I said, quite sarcastically, thanks.
He said: I've done my bit.
I said: it's called being a dad, it's not a favour!
He said: fuck off, fannycabbage. Same answer as when you ask me again.
Door slams.
He's a lazy sod, I know, but before he left I actually thought he was making an effort and how I should be glad. And then I sniped at him and now he'll ignore me until tomorrow or I'll have to apologise.
I sound like a pushover, I'm not, but I'm so fed up of rowing over the same stuff, sometimes it's easier just to do it rather than ignite a horrible atmosphere. We've had so many rows over his laziness/time spent on the bloody computer rather than with the family. He says he needs his own space and that he's not a modern man.
Have I been unfair to him making an effort? Should I have made a bigger deal of him helping tonight? Would that encourage him to help more? I feel so crap again. Argh!