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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Advice please

10 replies

OldHag1 · 04/11/2016 13:59

I haven't been on for a while due to the following....

My STBXH deliberately hurt me and 2 sons accidentally whilst hurting me - I don't want to go into the details as it will out me. I called the police and left with the children. I didn't want him arrested as police said social services would get involved. I am now regretting that decision.

Now he won't leave the house - what do I do?

Please help. He's telling lots of lies - denies hurting us and says I am threatening him!

OP posts:
bluecashmere · 04/11/2016 14:06

So you're divorcing but still living together?

Do you own the property?

His behaviour is very standard. You need support.

You need to speak to Women's Aid as soon as possible, and ideally get some legal advice too.

RandomMess · 04/11/2016 14:08

Go back to the police and ask to press charges.

Original poster
OldHag1 · 04/11/2016 14:13

No we are not living together. The police suggested I leave as I had family locally.

Random - can I do that? Would they interview the kids? Would SS get involved? The kids were really frightened.

OP posts:
Tumtitum · 04/11/2016 14:15

OP I imagine SS would get involved but in my experience (not worked with children myself but with adults with kids and SS involvement) they really don't want to take kids away they will want to support you and support the kids to stay with you

category12 · 04/11/2016 14:20

Press charges. But make sure you follow through and don't back down.

Social services may be contacted, but they won't take the dc away from you or anything like that, if you are leaving a violent relationship. They would be concerned if you were staying. They should be able to support you and signpost you, rather than be a problem to you.

MrsBertBibby · 04/11/2016 14:45

The police would have contacted social services whether you pressed charges or not.

Original poster
OldHag1 · 04/11/2016 15:04

Thank you everyone. Would I be able to change my statement too? The police changed it so they didn't have to arrest him.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldHag1 · 05/11/2016 10:30

Anyone?

OP posts:
Tumtitum · 05/11/2016 17:05

I'm not sure about the statement thing... what do you need to change, just that you wish to press charges now? It doesn't seem quite right that the police would change your statement because you don't want to press charges!! Maybe call someone like Women's Aid? I'm sure they have experience at things like this and can give you the best advice. Good luck Flowers

Original poster
OldHag1 · 06/11/2016 15:50

Hi Tum they changed it saying he didn't hurt me.

OP posts:
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