Something fishy going on or me just being paranoid?

[Squashberry]

Dp suddenly become overly confident, going out, changed hairstyle, he's been really mean to me lately and nothing i can do is good enough. Complains I'm not soending time with him but i try to and he sits on his phone or goes to sleep-yet thats my fault. . Goes out to watch footie game with friends says his on way home (he's supposed to be down the road) then no contact and comes back four hours later. Says he's going out to McDonald's, literally gone for a good couple of hours (when its a five min drive) but he'd left his wallet. Then rings says he's got his mcds be back soon, then calls back again later forgot his wallet going to go get it then go get mcds-hmmm? For example tonight he had college, finished "about nine" only asked so i could heat up his dinner. Weird though as he used to be back from college at nine... Its quarter past ten now, no sign of him and we're only about fifteen min drive. This is just a couple of things. Maybe I'm being paranoid but I just have a feeling something dodgy is going on. I've joked a couple of times about him having a woman on the side and he's never told me I'm being silly or denied it. Somethings going on but I cant prove it.

And what hoops are you supposed to jump through to give him this "last shot"

You can't spend more quality time together if he keeps fucking off to fuck knows where. He is setting you up to fail. You are right not to trust him.

This "last shot" he is giving you is simple lip service so he can say "I gave it one last shot but it just wasn't working.... < lip wobble>"

Tell him to bog off. Tell him he has worked his trial period out and you have concluded he isn't fit for the position as Decent Partner.

Not sure how to quote but in response to what dadaist said "like he is taking himself away from you and finding alternative ways to enjoy life" this is one of the things he said yesterday. Which really hurt. Maybe we dont spend enough time together but I have tried and all he wants to do in the evening is go on his phone on sleep. I don't really know what else to do, tried making us a meal and buying us a bottle of alchohol the other day, he rejected it but then went out for drinks with a friend. He obviously finds me boring now.

Mind you today he sent me a text this morning saying he still wants to give things a go, loves me so much and there is no excuse for his recent behaviour.
.... Right?!

I have told him to man up tell the truth. I think part of me is just in shock this is the same man who was so good for me and is now causing me so much pain and being such a headbake.

I keep thinking "is it me?" but his mum and sister mentioned the other week they've noticed him being a twat not particularly pleasant too, but just blamed it on the fact he doesn't cope with stress well as they'd never say a bad word about him.

Honestly it's fine. I hope your ok.

It's not you. You are in a partnership. It's probably both of you. The very fact you are doubting him makes me believe that you've given up too. Be honest with yourself. Get what you want.

For example. My DH is my everything. If he started acting the way your DH was he would be doing something in secret for me. Never once would the thought of him cheating ever ever enter my mind. I know he would never do that to me. So the fact you realise and admit this says to me you know it's possible.

Sending hugs. X

Hi Squaschberry
Obviously I can't know exactly the issue - but I'll give you my very best guess!
You've given some clues as to where things are. Lots of posters have jumped to conclusions about him having an affair, drugs, gambling. I don't think it's any of those things. It just doesn't add up. And what's more, the posters telling you in so many words 'he's just being a dick, you should retaliate' are not going to resolve things.
From what I can tell - you've said you used to make each other happy but now you have 'nothing in common,' ,you can't trust him' etc. Essentially you seem very quick to leap to saying 'that's it!' as if things are hanging by a thread? There seems a hostility between you that's just under the surface? . And yet he has told you he loves you and he's unhappy - and so are you, and not just by his recent behaviour by all accounts.
So my guess is that there's been a gradual decline in trust, affection, intimacy, quality time together, fun, feeling appreciated and loved. I can't say who started it, but it's got into a vicious cycle. His behaviour suggests that he feels that you are the one falling out of love with him. Regardless of whether that is true, (and he has played his part in that) if that is what he thinks, then it might explain why he would separate himself from you and why he can't fully explain, and yet tell you he loves you and wants things to work. He thinks if he told you, then you would feel even less for him, because being needy is not attractive!
Obviously the decline in your relationship - with less of all the things that make you love each other and feel loved, is probably down to both of you over time. And your DH clearly isn't the best communicator - and finds difficulty expressing his emotions, and takes to bad behaviour when stressed or unable to deal with them.
So I could be very wrong, but I'm guessing that there is a lot less intimacy, affection, love and sex in your relationship, and you are being strong and putting up with it and carrying on and he is starting to crack. You seem to blame him for ignoring you when you are together, on his phone or falling asleep. But are you both hiding resentments, just papering over the cracks with pleasantries when he isn't distracting himself, which you think should be good enough - and he doesn't?
So rather than have him explain his behaviour to your satisfaction - so that you can go on feeling distant from one another with resentment just under the surface, maybe you need to start from a different place. Like - do you both want to make things better - do you want to stay together? ( that's where the trust is) and what things have come between you? And do you still care for one another, and do you want to make things better. It is possible to make things better, if he is willing to admit his fears and stresses and you are willing to see that both of you have played a part in where you are. I hope you manage to have a genuine heart to heart.