Have you ever regretted leaving your husband?

[Hanginginthebalance]

Very broad question I know. But just wondered if anyone has? I've not left. It's playing on my mind 24/7 though.

No, but it's been bloody hard. I'm still dealing with dickishness from him three years on, albeit vastly reduced from the hell he caused me when I first left. I'm much happier now, but I wish I'd known that the leaving wouldn't be the hardest part, it would be his behaviour afterwards that was the hardest part.

That sounds doom and gloom.
He was abusive and harassed me a lot after I left. That and suddenly being able to make my own choices when I'd basically forgotten how to meant I really struggled to cope at first.
Now I have a lovely flat and a lovely boyfriend and a job I enjoy. Myself and the children are much happier now than we would be with him.

No even though it's only seven months in and extremely hard and upsetting I know I am worth so much more.

No, no and thrice no.

Acrimonious divorce underway, no money, lost my friends. Never been happier. I'm just sad I wasted so many years on a complete cock.

Gin and so I. I have to agree getting rid was e easy bit all the shite that follows is a different story

I did initially regret leaving my abusive shit of a husband, but I decided I would leave anyway, and could always patch things up in a few years if we both agreed.

The regret only lasted a few weeks, I have been separated for nearly 2 years now and still occasionally have nightmares where I think we are still married. The relief when I wake up and realise I am not married to him is pure bliss.

As someone said earlier, there doesn't have to be a specific set of circumstances to justify you leaving. If your marriage makes you feel sad, and it is not going to change, you must go. Life is too short.

I am now broke, going through a very expensive and acrimonious divorce, dealing with exH's ongoing shit behaviour, but I am so, so happy. I am free. I don't live with someone who makes me feel like shit on a daily basis.

I hope you are ok OP

No

Dances round coffee table

No, 4 years now we have been separated. It was hard, but I've never wanted back in.

His life has bounced from one disaster to another since I've gone, but he still thinks he 'the man'.

Every time I see him I thank my lucky stars that me and the kids are not involved that way any more

Not once.

Regretted meeting him many times.

Not at all.

(Love the reference to Jamie by rawsienna. You tell'em girl!)

AnnlovesGilbert is spot on. I wish I'd been on here when I was going through the horrible stuff and read advice like hers.

You only have one life and it's really not that long. At the end of it you are more likely to regret the things you didn't do than those you did. Never let someone grind you down for their own agenda.

Good luck! X

No, because he was abusive and becoming increasingly violent. Being a single parent on benefits is hard in a zillion ways, especially with the children so damaged and all over the place. Still, for me, getting out was eventually the only decision possible.

I suspect that this thread is not fully representative of all women, as so many of us on the relationships board have been through domestic abuse.

I wouldn't have left unless I had to.

Is his name Jamie?

It would be great if it was.

yes! If he is called Jamie and he has been spending some time on his computer recently absolutely leave him. He is a cock.

Jamie

Yes and no
Yes- we were financially secure and good friends and Good as a team
No- we weren't in a relationship and didn't connect on other levels.
Together 13 years, we see each other weekly but sadly no longer talk

No.... just occasionally regret marrying him in the first place but I don't regret my 3 DS I had with him

what's with the Jame?

No. If I hadn't done it I'd still be stuck in a dead, stultifying, affectionless, marriage. Now I'm with an amazing man who thinks I'm fantastic. It makes me shudder to think what I could have missed out on.

I regret not leaving earlier.

No I don't regret it, and I think very highly of him too. Lovely guy just not right for me. I am sure I did the right thing.

Yes and Yes.

Married at 21, i left dh 5 months later. I panicked that I had made a mistake, no real reason for me leaving, we had been together 5 years, he was lovely, my first love, my best friend etc. I was at uni at the time and think that i just freaked that I had wasted my youth and needed to get out and explore. Without warning I packed my bags and left whilst he was away on a course with work. It was a moment of madness. I moved in with a friend and refused to speak to him / see him etc. He served me with divorce papers 3 months later and i just signed what i needed to sign to get it done.

I never saw or heard from him again for 9 years.

I married again on the rebound at 24. Great guy, had 2 dc with him. By our ten year anniversary it was clear we had both fallen out of love and were just plodding on. We talked about separating, but he wanted to stay together for the dc. i was dying of lonliness inside.

I left in the end and we had an amicable divorce.

Post divorce i have struggled with the deciosons i have made to leave both my marriages. Both were nice / good guys and even though I am now friends with both my exdh's and me and last dh co-parent well I know I have work to do on why I bailed on them both.

I know I wasn't overly happy in both relationships, I guess i feel tarnished by the 'bad guy' for having left the relationships. Both my exdh's have struggled to move on since we split. I tell myself that this is not my fault / problem. but i often get eaten up by the guilt.

i have been married to dh number 3 for 2 years. He is my soul mate and 'the one' (we have been friends since uni). even though i know its different this time, It is hard not to look back with regret.

Maybe i am just being too hard on myself.

No not for one second.
My sister on the other hand does regret leaving and is considering very strongly going back to her husband

Hi are you still with your husband?