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Relationships

Is sex different/not as good after child birth?

30 replies

TheNewWife · 02/11/2016 07:46

Apologies this should prob be under the Sex category but I've not been a part of MN for 90 days yet as only joined when I found out I was pregnant - currently 16w + 2. Anyways....
Pregnancy going v well, my only concern is my sex life afterwards. I've heard from a few that it's 'not the same afterwards'. In what way? Sensations less? Like chucking a sausage up an alleyway?
My DH and I already have differing sex drives - he's once (maybe twice) a week, I'm every other day if I could so I'm worried he'll want to do it even less if my lady garden takes a hammering. My DM says she kept hers intact by performing her Kegels religiously so now I'm squeezing them as often as I remember!

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Heatherjayne1972 · 02/11/2016 20:41

I think you should go easy on yourself. It's likely that you won't want him anywhere near you for quite a while - I didn't
You'll know when you're ready

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museumum · 02/11/2016 20:45

Totally fine physically but have struggled to get my libido back.

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TheNewWife · 03/11/2016 07:22

wowbutter I'm obviously clueless as I thought with a section then you'd have been fine! (Not accounting for sex drive or anything as that's totally different, but physically once you'd recovered?)

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MoonlightMedicine · 03/11/2016 07:31

To be honest, for the first 6 months after my first baby I was too exhausted for anything like that. Then we tried and it was really painful. But after 9 months it sorted itself out and I did find it different, like I'd been rearranged down there! What had worked for me pre-baby didn't work now. But very quickly I learned what felt good and now (5 years on and another baby born) it has never been better.

Just don't worry about it, you've no idea how you will feel afterwards and chances are it will all be fine or even an improvement!

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Purplebluebird · 03/11/2016 07:31

I had a "vaginal" (can't think of a better word?) birth, and needed to be cut some to get the head out. It was very traumatic for me, so it took me a while to get over it. Then when I was ready for sex, it was very painful. After 6 months it finally felt better, and I could have sex without pain (we tried several times before this, but had to stop due to it hurting me).

I'm not 2,5 years down the line, and sex is fine! The funny thing is that I can orgasm incredibly quickly now, compared to what I could before. I've no idea why, but it takes 2-3 minutes now. I can however not have more than 1, whereas before I'd always have 2. It is also very strong.

Conclusion? You might be lucky, you might not. I'd consider myself semi-lucky. It took a lot longer than expected to feel normal again, but it now feels good :)