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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was I used by my brothers best friend?

12 replies

MissSparkles85 · 30/10/2016 17:26

Ladies I need your help!

My brothers best friend and I recently slept together. We had dinner and one thing led to another. A few nights before he told one of my friends he was interested but had to step carefully. He's only a few months out of a relationship. He messaged me when he got home inviting me out to dinner again. I replied with my number. It's been 6 days and nothing!!! Going out my mind!

OP posts:
Northernparent68 · 30/10/2016 17:31

He's probably worried about how your brother will react, and I don nt think you were used, two adults had sex that's all

MissSparkles85 · 30/10/2016 17:32

He told my brother he was going to see me beforehand and he was fine about it Blush

OP posts:
MissSparkles85 · 30/10/2016 17:35

Forgot to mention that I really like him! Always have Sad

OP posts:
Myusernameismyusername · 30/10/2016 17:40

I think he's not ready for anything and it's making him a bit flakey.
Wait it out but don't jump when he calls and then ignores you etc
I would be careful - some people just aren't ready yet!

loveyoutothemoon · 30/10/2016 17:41

CALM DOWN!

He messaged you after, asking you out again! Just be patient!

How exciting.

Northernparent68 · 30/10/2016 17:43

Maybe it's too soon for him, if he's out of a relationship, I know you disappointed but try not to dwell on it, you ll meet someone else

please do nt see yourself as having been used, you re not a victim, it just was not meant to be

Emmaghoul · 30/10/2016 17:45

Text him, or call him, suggest a date for dinner and a venue. Don't wait for him to take the plunge, it's 2016, we're allowed to ask guys out. Grin

I wouldn't worry too much about him being your brother's best friend.

MissSparkles85 · 30/10/2016 17:49

Thanks ladies yes all a bit complicated. I guess this ones a bit different as I've known him pretty much all my life. And slightly confused as he asked me out again and it's been a week. I can't message him first, I'll look desperate! Hehe x

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 30/10/2016 17:52

I wouldn't message him again yet. You've left him your number. Let him message you.

TheNaze73 · 30/10/2016 18:34

Keep your council & chill.

You had sex, why does it feel you were used?

KungFuPandaWorksOut · 30/10/2016 18:41

Have you ever thought he feels the exact same as you? Bit nervous too message first. Go for it. Maybe something along the lines of
" so when are we going out for a bite to eat then? Got anywhere in mind?"

merville · 30/10/2016 18:49

Chill out & give it time, but 1 caveat .. with you being his friend's sister he may very likely feel that something with you has to be all or nothing, that it can't be casual, 'see where it goes' ... because if it doesn't 'go' he could end up damaging his friendship with your brother.
That may make him baulk at getting involved - esp since he's not long out of a relationship (or full stop).
If he twigs that you like him a lot, that increases the pressure; just a thought as to why he may get cold feet (if he is).

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