what do you think this means? What should I do?

[BassMama]

Me and DS dad split up just over a year and ago (DS is now 2).

Things were not too amicable at first as he did not want me to leave him, but I was very depressed so didnt even explain properly why i was leaving him.

Anyway, things have been getting better, I see him at least twice a week (when he collects and drops off DS) and usually once or twice at weekend too when he pops in to visit DS.

Anyway, the other day I had been staying at a friends house in the next street from DS dad, so when i got up i called and said i'd come round to get DS (no point going all the way home and then him having to come all the way home too!)

I went round and told DS i was taking him for lunch. He didnt want to leave his dad so i said why dont you come? So the three of us went for lunch.

later that night, DS dad text me to ask if i wanted to go to out with him to a gig on friday night. I replied and said no i was working. He replied back and said okay, maybe another night then?

WHAT DO I DO?? I dont want to get back together now (or possibly ever, dont know) I like my single mum lifestyle and i like going out all the time. I really feel confused and dont know what to say.

It's probably best to be honest from the start. Better a quick rebuff than a few weeks or months of uncertainty, followed by bad feeling as he feels like he has been "strung along". Any bad feeling between you both would only be bad for ds. Just say that you can't go and if he doesn't get the hint, say that you are ok with things as they are and don't want to change them. It must be hard though, I do feel for you. I know things are never simple but being honest has to be best in the long run (?!)

Would you want to go to a gig with him and hang out? Is it nice spending time with him? If so, I'd say as much: say you like spending time with him, but don't want to get back together. That way, if you both want to spend time together, with no expectations, that's fine.

It's a good thing for you two to get along well, if you can.

If you can get a babysitter and feel it may be nice to go out then do it but explain its just a drink and gig and nothing more. Wouldhe expect it to turn in to something more if you said yes? Does he have feelings still for you?

If you are happy with the way things are and you have a good social life now then maybe its best not to go and keep things as they are!

What the the reasons (those you didn't fully explain to him) why you left him in the first place? Maybe you can have a bit of a heart to heart with him and explain it all to him now so that he understands that even if you two are able to have a friendly relationship, an actual relationship is not on the cards.

Yeah I think i shall just keep saying no, he called tonight to say goodnight to DS and it was a little awkward, i didnt mention aything.

Sure if he asks me aqgain, ill say no and eventually he'll get the hint?

I just dont want to upset him and have things between us go back a few steps. I want us to get on for the sake of DS, but i dont want to mislead him into thinking something will happen. i know he would get back together at the drop of a hat, he hasnt been with anyone else since we split up and I have had a much more 'active' time IYKWIM! Including 2 boyfriends that he knew of.

I just dont want to spoil our friendship.