Is it weird to have only ever slept with one man?

[NotANewbie]

(I was thinking about this last night, and namechanged to ask, but fell asleep before I got to start the thread. In the cold light of day this feels a weird topic to broach, but as I'm wondering whether I'm weird, I'll do so anyway.)

It seems to me as if everyone on MN has had multiple partners/relationships. I know that MN is not a reliable cross-section of people, but still, it makes me wonder...

Am I weird that I have only ever had sex with my dh? I was a virgin when we met in my late 20s, simply because I had never met anyone I wanted in a physical way. So much so, that, until I had my first enjoyable snog in my mid 20s, I didn't even know whether I was hetero or gay.

Unusual but not weird.

I was with my first boyfriend for 11 years, so had only had sex with one man for that long. And by 30, had increased that number to 3 (whoop!).

A few more since then, including some single encounters - but now I'm married, I'm done
I've mostly lost all interest, so if anything happened to DH (god forbid) I don't see myself hanging out for a new man at all.

Unusual yes but not weird, what works for one person may seem odd to another but it doesn't make it wrong. Why do you care as long as you're happy with it?

Another one here too. I met my DH when I was 20 and have only ever slept with him. I had a boyfriend when I was 17/18 but never slept with him and then didn't really want to lose my virginity to a ONS. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

I'm recently separated but STBXH was my first boyfriend. At 47 I do wonder if I'll have a second one.

It's not weird, just unusual in the way that having green eyes is unusual. For my mother's generation it wouldn't have been unusual and for my grandmother's generation it would have been the expected norm unless you were widowed and married again.

I suppose I'm not unhappy, because I love my dh and feel absolutely no attraction for any other man (or woman). But OTOH I find sex very unsatisfying...have lost interest, really. I think I have a fairly low sex-drive - not helped by Mirena, either. But, to paraphrase a PP, I'll never know whether it's me or him.

how do people know they are 100 % happy if there is no barometer or no comparison ?
Lots and lots of mindblowing, toe-curling orgasms gave me the impression that my ex was pretty well built even though I had no other comparison. Slept with my second partner at 45 and based on that minimal amount of comparison, my ex indeed had a large and well functioning penis. (Shame he was a big dick by nature too.)

It's unusual but not weird. Sounds like you have a low sex drive. Sorry to hear your sex life is unsatisfying. Have you broached the subject with your dh?

From my own perspective, from the age of 14 all I could think of was sex so can't imagine having waited until my late 20s to get some! Men are all so different. Some have been 'meh' but others have taken me to the stars and back.

I thought I had great sex and orgasms with my first boyfriend.

Turns out I didn't. It was my third and then forth when I learned what actually constituted good sex.

If its weird, then I am weird too. I did choose it that way, I could have had other sexual partners before I met dh, but I knew that I wanted to wait until I was in love. I didn't wait for marriage, but we were together long enough that we had discussed a future together. In a way I wish we had waited for marriage. I don't regret waiting for my dh though, we have a fantastic marriage and he had lots of experience, so I reckon he learned more than enough for both of us 😂.

For the poster who asked how did I know that I was 100% happy, the frequent and eventual multiple orgasms, showed me that I wasn't missing anything! We are completely compatible! I really don't see how having sex with other men would ever change that.

AyeAmarok According to her emails the OW (who got around more than me) was also very impressed by my ex's penis, so I don't think it was just me. He was oblivious to any form of foreplay, but his pneumatic penis and my sex drive were enough to make me very happy with the sex for many, many years. Obviously I wouldn't complain if I discovered that actually I could have even more fun with another partner, but sex with my first partner was great and I really would be surprised to find it could be more enjoyable for me.

And that is speaking as someone who hates her ex's guts !

Lol...thanks for the honesty.

How long is a piece of string??? For the ladies that had awesome sex with their one and only partner....wow you girls hit the jackpot (I think). My experience is it's 50/50 good and bad. A lucky dip (giggle).

It's not all necessarily about penis size either, sometimes just the relaxation of sex and whether two people like the same kind of rhythm matters too. From my average experience and perspective.

Not a judgment issue at all, just chit chat.

Does awesome sex matter? Surely what matters more is that the sex is good together? Rather than being the best it could be.

But perhaps that's a naive perspective, formed from not having any way of comparing.

If the relationship is fantastic and the love is mutual, but the sex is unspectacular, wouldn't it be better not to know that it was meh, but to simply be happy?

NotANewbie i 100% agree with you. I'm in my late 40's and although I can't speak for everyone, although I appreciate good sex, I far more appreciate close loving companionship.

I think the most important thing is to simply be happy, so if you feel content and happy then you are sorted.

My personal experience has been a trudge along in a sexless marriage for a while and then there was a feeling that we were just two friends.

I would like to meet someone who I have lovely sex with so that it bonds us together and it helps to cement the relationship against all the usual adversities that couples face. I think it is all subjective, sex is not on the same tier of importance in every relationship. My ideal would be to have a fantastic sexual connection with a partner so that all the good hormones and oxytocin bond us strongly together and that we are in sync with each other.

My ex-husband is a good and nice and attractive guy but we never clicked sexually and I don't think I was fully aware of that being pretty high up on the list of priorities for me.

The main thing is to just be happy and different ingredients makes up happiness for different people (imo).

My DH has only (AFAIK!) ever slept with me! Even I've only had one previous consummated relationship and one where we tried but never quite made it (thankfully). I really got around, me. Seriously, I'm the sort of person who can't do no-strings sex and my DH has worked in male-dominated industries where meeting women just doesn’t happen.

And I am loving the stories of some of you meeting your life partners at 16- my ds is 16 and in a loving relationship with his 16yo girlfriend. I adore her and probably feel more maternal towards her than I should! No reason for them to stay together but I can dream

I'm 31 and have only been with my DP who I met at 23! I did feel unusual at the time but doesn't feel odd now. I do sometimes wonder "what if?" as I did feel like a very sexual person inside, just didn't have the confidence to admit I was a virgin to any of the guys I dated. So I feel like I denied myself a lot of fun. But we go together really well sexually!

You're not on your own OP 😉

I watched a documentary on ch 4 some time ago about sexual attitudes in the past.

There was a lady on there who had been married twice and never had sex at all. It was way out on the edge of normality, but still not weird once you got your head around it .

There have been numerous threads about this and they always have a lot of posters saying they've only slept with their DP/DH.

Honestly; no-one cares or judges.

I've only had sex with one person from 16 to now (early 30s).
I've always wondered what I could be missing out on and honestly do feel a bit of an anomaly.
I don't know anyone else who's only slept with one person.

Only one sexual partner my dh. I'm his only sexual partner.
It's not weird. I think it's just the way some people have grown up. I decided because of my health growing up, I didn't want to risk getting pushed into sex and getting pregnant so I waited.