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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to know when it's time to go?!

2 replies

Msqueen33 · 25/10/2016 20:50

Been with dh ten odd years. Three kids and two have serious Sen issues. He works and earns a good wage. I'm a sahp. There's no major arguements but small selfish things such as him spending three evenings on his hobby this week which he is committed to which I asked him last year could we discuss him potentially signing up casually. He went and signed up again. No discussion. He's quite arrogant and when I broach that I'm unhappy with his lack of wanting to do anything he turns the argument onto me and says there's a lot about me that bothers him but won't elaborate when I ask. He's not a bad person. He does the shopping, works hard, takes the kids to their sports club on a Saturday. He's very use to being the top dog thanks to his mother who defers to him on a lot. I didn't. I do now as he can make me feel uncomfortable and s but stupid otherwise. But he's not abusive, he doesn't financially withhold money though is quite tight around holidays. My main big thing is lack of involvement in the kids education (he's very good at a certain subject which our kids struggle with but says he can't teach them).

Like I say nothing major but slight selfish niggles. The kids would miss their dad, we live in an expensive area and we're settled here (School, nursery, small support). I have no money so don't know how I'd support us and figure he could be a real arsehole if I asked him to leave. I feel like we're jogging along and when I mention I'm not happy he talks the talk but nothing happens. I'm very low maintence. I don't spend a lot of money, I don't go out much (too exhausted by the kids) all I really want from life is to go out and make memories (free or otherwise). He complains I don't want sex nor give him attention I explain why I'm cross (him just doing what he wants hobby wise regardless of how I feel and how exhausted I am with the kids). I know if we have another conversation he'll make out I'm unreasonable. Maybe I am. I don't know anymore.

OP posts:
YorkieDorkie · 25/10/2016 20:52

I think it sounds like you've already checked out...

Can you think of positives in your relationship? Not just the things he doesn't for your DC...

YorkieDorkie · 25/10/2016 20:53

Does for your DC**

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