7 months pregnant, relationship is a mess

[pyjamapyjama]

Apologies in advance for the really long post, trying to avoid dripfeeding!

As the title says, I'm 7 months pregnant with our first baby (not planned) and my relationship is a complete and utter mess, DP and I have been together 2 and a half years and used to be really happy. He's developed a really bad depression over the last few months because he feels he is losing his freedom with the new baby. When we first found out I was pregnant, he reacted really badly and wanted me to get an abortion. This was definitely not an option for me - I had an abortion when we first got together and getting over it mentally and physically was extremely difficult. He didn't see it that way though and when I said this time that I would be keeping the baby, he said he wanted nothing to do with it and that he'd pay me child support but didn't want a relationship with baby. He quickly changed his mind and after a few weeks I decided to give him another chance because I thought it was just a really bad shock reaction, and until I reached about 16 weeks he was really excited.

Since then he's been getting gradually worse up until the point we're at now, with our baby due at new year and him in a deep depression, refusing to take antidepressants. I'm trying my best to stay positive and help him through it because I've been through depression before and it's fucking horrible, he feels drained and I honestly do understand that sometimes he just needs to be alone or needs a hug or whatever. But he sometimes says things like when I discuss things we still need to buy/how much it'll cost - "I didnt want this baby and now I'm fucking skint from buying car seats etc" or if I have a moan that my body has changed and I feel unattractive "Well you were the one that wanted to keep this baby I did warn you". He also says he's skint but somehow has enough money to go on several nights out a month.

I went to the hospital the other night after work because I hadn't felt baby move all day and wanted his heartbeat checked, and he said he would come with me but when it came to the time for him to come to the hospital and meet me, he said he had too much work he had to catch up on and didn't see the point in coming " but phone me if anything bad happens and I'll come down". Everything was fine in the end but it took the midwife ages to find his heart and eventually had to call another midwife in for help finding it, so obviously I started panicking. When I got home from the hospital I noticed that he'd put a post on Facebook saying he was watching some film and obviously not doing work (around the time I was in the waiting room at hospital alone).

At the moment I'm staying at my mum's house, we had planned for me to move in to his house with him but I genuinely felt like a guest in his house with none of my stuff allowed to be moved in because there's "no room" (there is), and at the moment I feel like staying at my mum's is the best option now, and he will be staying with us for his paternity leave which is 3 weeks. He has no interest in sex/acting like a couple so I feel like we'e just friends (and sometimes not even that). I've tried to end the relationship completely but he always apologises and says he will try to get better/stop making me feel guilty for keeping our baby, but a few days will pass and it all just starts again. I want to give my son the possibility of a potentially happy family (if he gets better and we can fix the relationship) or do I leave and do it on my own?

I'm sorry again for the long post but basically, what the fuck do I do? Do I stay with him and try to work things out or do I leave him, stay at my mum's and try to get my own place? Will he change after he meets his baby or am I just kidding myself? And are my hormones just making me crazy or is he actually being out of order with the stuff he says?

[expatinscotland]

Ditch this thing.

[pasanda]

What a fucking twat!

Ditch the loser and don't look back. Your baby needs lovely people around him, not arseholes who might make him feel bad he was even born