How do I let go?

[jaffacakesaremyfave]

I posted about this a few months ago (can't remember if I name changed).

I broke up with my ex about a year ago as we were long distance and he was dragging his feet about relocating to be with me but it broke my heart to end things.

I haven't been able to move on and I still think about him every day. I honestly believe he's my soulmate and I've found the last year extremely difficult not having contact with him. We kept in touch for about 2 months after the breakup and the last time we spoke was in February when he told me he still loved me but he'd met someone else and wanted to try and make it work with them.

I really wanted to remain friends as the thought of never speaking to him again was too much. I emailed him at the end of August to that effect and received a reply last Thursday (nearly two months later).

He said he'd only just read the email and made it clear he was happy to hear from me, asked lots of questions about how I was doing and mentioned a birthday card I'd sent him whilst we were together and that he still had it.

I replied immediately and he emailed back immediately too. I felt like he was trying to reconnect so I stupidly told him I still love him and I will always love him even though we can't be together.

He didn't reply to this and he obviously was only replying out of politeness --even though deep down I was hoping it was because he still loves me too.
--
I know this email has to be the last contact. I know I have to move on but it's such a struggle. I've dated lots since we broke up but none of the guys compare to him. The truth is I don't want anyone else, I want him but I know I need to accept that it will never happen and he no longer loves me.

Has anyone else ever felt like this before and managed to move on and be happy? I honestly believed that after a year I would be over him but my feelings are still as strong as ever. I want this to end, I need to let go but I just don't know how.

[user1477495297]

Defo give the person you've been on a date with a chance, you might not feel it now but just give it a bit more time and this person may someone good that can come into your life. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that he is :-)

Yeah I can see your ex isn't a bad person, which makes it harder in a way too. That's why I couldn't leave my ex at first, as far as I knew there was no cheating or anything....it was just the distance for him and I couldn't accept that.

Keep going, put you first.....if you ever feel the need to contact him just say in your head 'let's take a step back' and imagine you are someone else watching youself and think about how you are making yourself look....and what contacting that person is going to achieve. I did that quite a lot when I was really struggling with it. It worked too... x

[Crazycat1980]

Hey Jaffa I've just read this thread and feel exactly as you do however it's only been two months. Every day I want to contact him. I truely still believe we were meant to be together - it's so hard.

[ImSoVeryTired]

This happened to me in my late 20's. I fell crazy in love with a man 5 yrs younger than me. Took me a long time to get over him as he broke my heart but I did it. I don't recommend the first 2 years of my way. They involved dating several inappropriate men, a long distance relationship with someone who didn't want either of us to move and a yr and a half long relationship with a bipolar chap. What can I say, my self esteem was at an all time low.
However, I then met my lovely partner. We have our ups and downs but love each other and have a baby.
I think fondly of my ex. I know he's engaged and i hope he's happy and found with her what he didn't have with me.
It takes time. It's a type of grief and like all grief takes a different amount of time for everyone to get over but you will.
Date or don't but don't get into anything too serious right now. Be kind to yourself. Try to distract yourself as much as possible. One day you will realise how wrong you were for each other, even if you loved him.

[Crazycat1980]

Thanks Tired
Dating is the only thing which seems to distract me at the moment but it also makes me so sad as no one I meet measures up.
It really helps to read threads like this cos I kind of feel I'm in this unique situation where I'm meant to be with someone and I'm not and I have to realise IF HE WANTED TO BE WITH ME, HE WOULD BE WITH ME bit..... your mind can play tricks on you can't it ....

[CreativelyChallenging]

4. Said small penis has a foreskin


and this is"bad"?

Why bad???