Dh and I used to get on well with our neighbours until we had a ground floor extension. The wife didn't like it simply because she didn't want to do any work on her house (despite having previously having a 2 storey extension on her house). So it was a jealousy issue and she made life difficult for the builders. She said the extension would cause her depression and she'd just got over 2 years of depression. I know the dust and noise was horrible, but once finished, it hardly affected her life. I do wonder if she was perhaps bipolar because she told me about falling out with her friends and children then making up. She stopped speaking to us and her husband thought she'd come around eventually. We tried to patch things up with her by sending interflora flowers along with an apology for the mess. These were returned and we tried several times over the years to break the ice. She ignored us apart from telling us she was sorry when our house was burgled and I was very pleasant and thanked her, hoping she'd finally accepted being friendly again Then radio silence again. So I gave up trying.
Prior to this, she baby sat once and gave our dd a present when she was born. Her husband was apologetic about her attitude. But it made things awkward and I felt intimidated for a long time because she monitored us and would sometimes stand and stare at me from the bedroom.
Her husband is in his late 70's and in bits. It was all very sudden. She was 10 years younger. Should I go to the funeral? Dh is refusing and I do feel as though I may be intruding but on the flip side, I want him to know we wish to be neighbourly and care because I just want to get along with people. But I also have to consider her friends and family, who have probably been told I'm the devils spawn.
If I don't go, am I very rude?