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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm not sure if I want this ..advice?

6 replies

Louisajohnson224 · 20/10/2016 16:30

I have had bad experiences previously.
One ex ended it by simply not speaking again after knowing him years.
Another guy (last guy) treated me awful,after sex dumped me.
I've met someone.
We have been out on 3 dates...haven't slept together yet.
I do like him but the doubts start creeping in(they do with every guy,even those I eventually love)
It's like I find faults with everyone.
The guy in dating texts all the time and is funny etc..and believe it or not hasn't been like any other guy asking for pics and has said nothing rude..which makes a change.
After the guy previous I felt like a used prostitute and it's been 18 months and this guy is the first one I've been out with.

He invited me to his mums for tea but I just said ha ha and pretending I thought he was joking (unless he was)
We are going bowling tomorrow ..I don't know whats wrong with me? Why I talk myself out of things.
We have kissed and he has said he is shy and was worried if he tried kissing me more I would say no.
I don't want to rush into sex ..I've been there before and it left me feeling cheap and dirty.
Do I end it with this guy just incase it ends up me being used like the previous guys before?

The last two men before,I was pretty much treat like a prostitue (I was mad about them so I allowed it)
One guy would see me once a week and we would drive in his car then have Sex in his car or bonnet etc.
The other guy used me too.
Then I meet this guy who actually wants to "date" me and seems genuine.
Yet I'm panicking

OP posts:
Gymnopedies · 20/10/2016 16:35

So far he hasn't done anything bad, has he? Take it slowly and meet his mum. Unless you get a bad vibe or want to end it (you don't owe him or anyone anything).

Helpisathand13 · 20/10/2016 16:36

I can understand your panic. This feels like an unusual situation to you, one that you are not used to. Take it slowly and do what you feel comfortable with. Sounds like you have been led in the past by the wants and needs of your partner including for sex, leaving you feeling cheap. Think about what makes you happy in a relationship, couply stuff, kisses, cuddles, hand holds intimacy on your terms and your pace. This guy sounds lovely. I hope it works out for you. Good luck and try to relax a little and enjoy mr nice guy x

Louisajohnson224 · 20/10/2016 16:36

No he has been lovely.
When we have been out had such a laugh.
I just get scared incase I get used again.

OP posts:
Louisajohnson224 · 20/10/2016 17:20

Think I'm just better off single maybe ..so annoying

OP posts:
Helpisathand13 · 20/10/2016 17:36

Enjoy your good times with him, he's been lovely and you are laughing together. Sounds a great start. Try not to over think the rest. X

LesisMiserable · 20/10/2016 18:39

You cant judge him by your past he's an individual. I wouldn't be meeting his mum yet but go for a coffee instead or something and just let it build gently.

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