Was I stupid to take him back?

[skinnycap]

Long story short; my DP left me to go back to an old flame and then left her to come back to me and our DC....I love him and think his earlier departure was down to work/kid stresses....He tells me he hasn't seen or heard from her in weeks but I am not sure I believe him as he is secretive with his phone....he has switched off his notifications, always has it on silent and NEVER uses it when I am around. This is not typical for him however I note that when he is in work he is on IM constantly and never to me.....I knew taking him back would be hard but I didn't think my levels of paranoia would be this high.....DC are glad he's back, as am I but I do worry that he could be messing around again....was going to contact OW to find out....what do you think?

You are not paranoid, you have good reasons to mistrust him.

Yep - he's messing around. You know it.

Do you think they split up and he came back because it's cheaper than renting his own place, gets food and sex and doesn't have to go.out of his way to see his kids? Because from what you've written that sounds likely.

Only you know how much you're willing to put up with.

He's clearly up to no good. It's not paranoia if someone has already fucked up. Ask to see his phone, unlocked, straight away. His reaction will tell you.

He should be bending over backwards to make you feel you have made the right decision in taking him back. That includes showing you his phone on demand. If you are suspicious then you have every right to ask to see his phone. If he says no, then he clearly has something to hide. In fact, that's one of the things I would have said when taking him back; that he has to keep all devices open and available for you to look at. To rebuild the trust can take years.