Feeling broken

[Lily15]

I know I'm not the first, nor will be the last. Found out tonight my husband is fucking his receptionist. I feel so sad. And sick. And raw from crying. I just want to sleep. I don't even want to spill the details- I just want someone to hold my hand

Hey Lily15, just saw your other thread. I see you've got to the discussing what he's done point and you're thinking of forgiving him.
It's totally up to you what you do, no one can tell you what is best for you but I want to share my experience and how it can compare to yours.
My XH initially said he wasn't happy, I didn't pay him attention, he felt trapped. Fast forward 8 weeks and I discovered his affair. His excuse was me. I didn't make him feel loved. From there he re-wrote history, he lied and he controlled and I stood tall and got angry. Yeah, it was fucking hard, but no regrets here.
If you need advice or support I'll hold your hand.

Oh op. I'm so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how you must be feeling to find out in such a way. I think there is a reason for everything..imagine you had not had the phone call and then found out in two years. Sending hugs

I know Id be ok without him...but I still love him. The sadness is crippling.

Oh Lily I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Is he still at home? Does he want to stay with you? Are you able to be with someone to support you IRL?

So sorry OP. I too have split with my STBXH due to affair with much younger OW. He left because he wanted to be with her. The way I found out and how he made me feel were pretty horrendous. The things I know he has done (& denied!) were just awful to know. So no idea how you are coping with the way you found out. Some men really don't have a clue about what they are doing. It will get easier if you choose to go separate ways. If you both want to save it then you will need him to be honest and remorseful (mine never was, everything was my fault). I know you still love him and that is only natural. Deep down I still have feelings for mine but they are fading slowly (probably helped by the fact he is now now showing his true colours as we sort out legal stuff!). Everything is still so raw just now. Don't expect too much from yourself. Take it one step at a time.

He wants to stay. Has said he will do whatever it takes. For as long as it takes. My heart wants him to stay. I don't know if I can. Trying to take everyones advice and take it one day at a time. (I posted the same on my other thread so sorry if you see this twice)

Taking it a day at a time is the only thing I think you can do at this stage.