Am I single?

[amammabear]

I'm confused...

My husband left us a couple of months ago, so I know I'm officially separated, but at what point do I actually become "single"? The reason I'm pondering it is, I've not started Divorce proceedings yet, but will be doing, I was just letting the kids situation settle first, so I am still married, but we're not in a relationship, it is definitely not a break.

A guy propositioned me a couple of days ago and while I'm definitely not interested, it got me thinking about my status and I'm now really confused!

I'd say you're single. You need time to process and mourn the end of the relationship but thinking 'I am married = I am unable to even consider dating', despite the fact he left you, is not going to help you process and deal with your life changing.

You can instigate divorce on unreasonable grounds if you want to avoid the possibility of him using adultery against you in the future. There must be things he did that you considered unreasonable.

And I can guarantee that there are very few men who leave their wives and think 'Ooh I will not date or even attempt to sleep with anyone else until our divorce is completely finalised'. How will you feel if you save yourself from committing adultery (in a purely technical sense) but find he's got himself a girlfriend or slept with someone else? You won't get brownie points for being a good girl, so allow yourself to move on.

I had to wait 2 years before divorcing exH as it was an amicable split and we wanted an amicable divorce. I considered myself single, I briefly dated another man and had sex (he knew I was still legally married). ExH also got a new girlfriend in that time.

You're free to do whatever you like OP.

Sorry for the silence, I didn't realise I was still getting replies.

Yes, a divorce for adultery would have a big impact on my life, although I can't explain the reasons as it would "out" me.