What do I do?

[GizmoFrisby]

Me and my dp had a row on Sunday as I was supposed to be allowed a lie in... his words, he then sent ds up and woke me up and said I had to get up, not that he wanted a lie in but he wanted me up do we were all up together. I was really pissed off. And was angry with him all day said a few things which maybe I shouldn't things like
-he doesn't do enough with the kids
-he expects everything done
-he's a lazy fucker
The list was endless but I was so angry.
I'm a sahm and have just started doing bits of work again due to illness. I thought everything was sorted last night.
However he's just come in from work and told me he's taking 2 days off work a week to do more at home and he hopes the family will realise how much he works/provides for the family.
What do I do. I just kind of listened to him rambling and said how will we manage etc, he said I should of thought about that before I wanted a lie in. I have posted about this sort of argument before. But not to this extent. Advice please

Have a crisis meeting. In other words, put time aside for the two of you to talk honestly to each other about the state of your relationship.

The tone of your post shouts out that neither of you can stand the other one.

Really is that how it sounds oh my gosh! Didn't realise it sounded that bad

Value what he does and get him to value what you do. I think there is a lack of respect for each other. If you are pissed off tell him don't drag it on because in the end you both sound like childen.

Look for a job, working the two days that he'll now be off.

Sounds like neither of you has any understanding or appreciation for what the other does. Spending a whole day giving out to him with an 'endless' list of his failings is really shitty. I hope your DC were out with someone else for the day and didn't have to witness it.

Yes totally agree with that. It's pathetic! So how do I go about that without it becoming a row? This is all over me wanting a few hours lie in on Sunday which he lies in every Sunday!

Pick I already am back doing casual work. So what this boils down to I'm in the wrong?

I'm sorry would be a good start and then tell him why you were pissed off.

You're both equally wrong. You're treating each other with contempt. He deliberately sabotaged your lie-in. You spent the whole day being a complete shit to him.

You both need to grow up and sort out some 'rules of behaviour'. Start by trying to be nice to each other for one day. I think you'll both find it incredibly difficult, but it might make you both realise that actually, you do need to be nice to each other about 90% of the time...

I have just done that and I think your right. The respect and appreciation. Thanks for advice

Hang on a minute - he started this by not allowing her the same privileges he allows himself. Obviously she shouldn't have listed his faults, but if you're knackered and resentful it's hard to be nice to someone.

We are fine 95% of the time and about once every 3 months we have a bicker. We do actually have a good life. We just need to appreciate instead of being nobheads

Hey Gizmo, we can all be knobheads sometimes.

Men are different creatures than women.

I always say that the best partnerships should come from a competition of kindness. He should have let you sleep in. Just be kind to each other. You sleep in on Saturdays (no compromise), he sleeps in on Sundays (same). Just don't break the rules.

Be kind. Listen. Turn in, and don't tune out. Voila! Happy relationship.

Imperial OP says herself that she was angry with him all day, and said some awful things.

You desperately need a meeting. Can you maybe get a sitter and talk off site for an hour. You both sound like you're at the end of your tether

Yes we will have a proper talk when kids go to bed. We have had a little talk and I have apologised and he has too. Think we will be ok. It's not like something awful has happened it's just a disagreement. Thanks for all the advice