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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

my ex had an affair & 14 months on I'm glad he did & left us

19 replies

mistressmiggins · 08/02/2007 22:17

cos today it snowed & if I was still with ex, at best, he'd have shut himself in our spare room on the computer/phone all day or tried to get to the office & probably got stuck there.....(we were worse hit area today so had loads of snow)

instead my BF was stuck here last night and so we both took day off work & had snowball fights with my 2, built a fab snowman & then went to pub for lunch pulling my 2 on the sledge

he earns far less than my ex BUT my life feels richer cos he gives me & my children TIME.....he has custody of his own DD & although its not a bed of roses, time is far more important & valuable than money

I have always realised this & indeed have several friends who Ive always said were richer than me cos they had time as a family....and finally I am getting it too....

my ex doesnt get it - I txt him this morning saying how much snow we had & he rang enthusiastically chatting to DS about the snow....but he didnt sound regretful that he wasnt sharing that moment - just sounded jolly for DS - which is good but sad for him that he doesnt see that to be here today would make him so much richer than actual cash

OP posts:
moondog · 08/02/2007 22:19

Mistress,I think of you so often.
I'm so glad you are happy.

Whoooosh · 08/02/2007 22:20

What a lovely post-and oh so true-so glad you had such a great day.

Dior · 08/02/2007 22:20

Message withdrawn

sallystrawberry · 08/02/2007 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolatebirdy · 08/02/2007 22:22

Light at the end of the tunnel, really pleased for you and it sounds like you had a lovely day.

SpaceCadet · 08/02/2007 22:22

thats a lovely post MM, glad you had a fab day

moondog · 08/02/2007 22:23

The only loser is your dh.
I can't fathom a man who would leave his children and allow them to be enjoyed by someone else.

Nuts......

mistressmiggins · 08/02/2007 22:24

thanks guys

sometimes I feel guilty & worry that I have found BF too early BUT it was by accident

having to retrain myself to trust again but he keeps showing himself to be true so often

its odd being a family of 5 but it does feel like that & it just takes time to adjust doesnt it

I felt so lucky today to have spent the day in the snow with my children & this man who adores me

we were all so wet from falling over in the snow...true bliss.....

I spent our entire marriage trying to tell ex that money wasnt the most important thing but he just didnt get it....its such a relief to find someone who cares about TIME & not money

OP posts:
mamama · 08/02/2007 22:25

Wonderful mistressmiggins. It's so good to read positive threads about becoming a lone parent- it's such a difficult adjustment, we need to be reminded that things will get better.

Thank you so much for sharing. I'm glad you all had such a great day.

mistressmiggins · 08/02/2007 22:26

Moondog - not sure ex KNOWs about BF

my mum says Im being naive as DS mentions BF to my mum so bound to have mentioned him to ex

if he has, ex is either not bothered OR planning on using it against me in the divorce suit.....

oh well, again if he wants to play dirty, let him

I feel too content to worry

OP posts:
HappyDaddy · 08/02/2007 22:35

Nice to hear a happy story.

Moondog - "I can't fathom a man who would leave his children and allow them to be enjoyed by someone else". That is quite hurtful to read by someone like me. I lift my ex and, effectively dd1. Not all absent parents are uncaring.

moondog · 08/02/2007 22:44

Just saying I don't get it HD.
Didn't mean to be hurtful.
Sorry about that.

Yurtgirl · 08/02/2007 22:48

MM - My ex dh is just the same as yours. He doesnt get what he is missing out on

Im glad you seem to be getting your life back on track again

HappyDaddy · 08/02/2007 22:51

Moondog, sorry it's a touchy subject for me. Apologies for the hijack.

longwaytogoandabitfurther · 08/02/2007 22:57

mistressmiggins so glad its working out for you. Think about you often because you were only 4 months behind my dh's affair.

mistressmiggins · 08/02/2007 22:59

you know what?

I dont get it either & up til really recently felt guilty for ex....but I really think he doesnt think hes missing out - I think he must enjoy being "fun time dad"

my BF tries to discipline my children far more than ex ever did & he NEVER over steps the mark - just that having custody of his own DD, hes used to discipline - he never underminds me though = rather backs me up!!
Not used to that!

maybe some people just arent meant to be full time parents!

p.s (whisper) playing happy families again all weekend - like I said, sometimes think maybe a little too soon BUT when you BOTH have children AND custody, dont really have a choice !!

OP posts:
lou33 · 08/02/2007 23:03

mm i have read your posts tho not commented, but i am so pleased to see this thread

hunkeydorey · 08/02/2007 23:06

Ah MM I'm so happy for you and I'm so jealous. Maybe there's hope for me.

SherlockLGJ · 08/02/2007 23:06

That's my girl,

God I remember how destroyed you were.

Soooooooooooooooo very happy for you.

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