ex boyfriend

[Christmas92]

Hi I wanted to ask for your thoughts and advice. My ex boyfriend has made contact with me on Facebook. We have split up for 4 years now. We don't have kids and have started to move on from him. I feel like I still love him but he was quite emotional abusive in the relationship. He would get jealous thinking I liked his friends and the police were called from neighbours as he used to fight with his friends and trash our house. He could be quite nasty the things he said. He said he has been for counselling and he's different now as he's grown up a lot. We had some good times as well and I feel like I still really love him. The abuse escalated and he tried to make me do a sexual act that I didn't want to do. I had told him clearly a few times that I didn't want to do it. He kept trying to push me forcefully. I managed to get away though and he said sorry. I still feel like I love him though. Do you think the counselling and the time passed will have helped him?

Have a read of the sticky at the top of the relationships page. "Listen up, everybody" or something.

He does not love , respect or admire you. This contact is for his own selfish reasons.

I doubt very much he is going to admit to the authorities that he contacted you and asked you to take back what you said. He knows very well he should not have contacted you and that this is harassment on his part, disguised as a 'hi, how are you doing?' sort of bollocks. Don't be afraid if you said you were sorry about reporting him. He still did it. You never messaged that he didn't do it. Just that you wished you hadn't told anyone he did it.

He has not got a leg to stand on. And if he contacts you again, tell the police as it is harassment.

I'm really glad I asked here you have really helped. Everyone has helped me so much I've havent talked about it until he messaged me I thought everyone would say I was in the wrong and I'm a terrible person. I still feel bad I feel like I wish he wasn't arrested but i have to try and forget about i I can't go back to him, it would get worse and worse. My family are asking when I will get a boyfriend and to go on dating sites and I think maybe I thought if I went back out with him at least it would be better than no one in terms of having someone there for you when he was being ok. I think it's better to be on my own I have lovely friends and I'm at college and hoping to go to uni if I pass college.

I'm so pleased Christmas, everything you've said is bang on.

Try and ignore your family for now, I bet they're just making conversation! Have you ever really spoken to them about what went on with you and your ex? Perhaps they'd be able to support you better and not make silly, insensitive comments (that I'm sure they don't mean!) if they knew what had happened

There is a lesson in this though, you know, for when you feel ready to be with someone new; YOU CAN CHOOSE WHO YOU LOVE! Because being loved by someone is an awesome thing, and you don't need to go around giving it to someone who doesn't deserve it and doesn't earn it every single day. Glad you've got lovely friends around you - I bet they'd tell you the same thing :)

Thankyou eatsleephockey

Well done!

You will love university. Your life is just going to get more fun and exciting as each year passes and you become more emotionally strong and sure of yourself.

The very best of luck