He got in touch 😪

[User999966666]

So, the guy that used me for sex whilst having a gf all the while and put bedroom pics of them on social media to obviously hurt my feelings somewhat, texted out of the blue. I was so surprised to hear I text back. He said he couldn't stop thinking about me, obviously didn't want me to forget who he was. Apologies if this is jumbled, the full story is down on previous threads if you do a username search. I just feel so angry and upset that he's spoilt my equilibrium that took me so long to build up, and I really feel his gf should know. But I can't deal with any crap she may throw at me. I'm lost with it all and I don't know what to do any more.

OP you are typically falling into his trap - the players trap. You know those women on Springer and Kyle who go on TV and fight over a bloke? That is YOU if you tell his gf.

He will not be harmed, he will have his ego boosted by two women 'fighting' over him.

Have some dignity. Just block him and move on - he's not a happy person if he can treat people like this. Find someone that will treat you as a person and take up a hobby or something

He is looking for a free ride OP, nothing more.
Block him, and get over it.
Enjoy the online dating, you may meet someone nice, if you let yourself.

You don't know what to do?

I do, block his number and please don't text him anymore.

Plenty of decent men out there, put your efforts in to finding one

You need to block his number and walk away. Don't tell his gf, it will just lead to more drama.

You are not going to get what you want here. He has walked away without a scratch and without any remorse. You won't change that. You were used. You won't get the revenge you seek because he will never feel bad about what he has done.

Don't let the fact that he used you be a measure of your self esteem.

Good luck.

I don't want to sound harsh but once bitten you really should be twice shy if you have any sense whatsoever. I was in a destructive, toxic relationship once and as soon as I truly saw the light I binned him, blocked him and changed my number. I would cross the street to avoid him even now, years on. This guy can offer absolutely nothing and in fact has the ability to take from you (peace of mind, time, moving on etc) so you need to start by changing your number, don't respond or reply to anything and he will get bored and go away.

I can't honestly think why on earth you have entertained him at all. Your reaction to his text should have been horror and changing your number immediately, that should have been your knee jerk reaction not texting the idiot back.

Oh and I would not get involved in the gf situation. It's dragging you back not moving you forward, and a guy who treated you badly in the first place is likely to respond to any contact you make that causes him trouble, so it perpetuates the cycle. Just bin and block him and move on.

I don't understand why people say don't tell the GF, I'd want to know, I think it's the right thing to do.

Personally, I'd screen shot the texts, send them to the GF. The send one last message to the ex, saying "do not contact me again".

Then block his sorry arse.

I've been the girlfriend. I'd have wanted to know. Mine was also a chronic liar so I'd need solid evidence before he'd admit to anything.

But would I tell? Tbh I probably would and would do so out of anger.

Just make sure you're not doing it in the hope it breaks them up then he'll be free for you. If he wanted to be with you, he would be already.

OP - I remember your post from before. I am going to be harsh now ... as I don't think you took on board what everyone said to you before

WTF are you doing? Move on. Let him be a player with someone else if he must. You are too fragile to keep entertaining this. Move on. Block him. And stop replying to him FFS!

Of course you tell the GF. Then tell him to fuck off.

Did you date for a long while? Because if it was just a one time shag, then it really shouldn't be this hard to get over.

Great post from Shatner

Agree don't go near dating for a long while - even if it seems like it would at least pass the time...

I tried this briefly when I was dumped this time last year - at least I'd have something to do Friday night rather than sit at home thinking of him- but it was soul-destroying. I probably wouldn't have recognised someone who was a good prospect for me anyway (the person I went out with a couple of times clearly wasn't!).

I filled my free time going to gigs with my lovely friend & playing my sport. It took me 8 months to be anything like ready for dating...when coincidentally someone hove into view who has been so much better for me than the one who broke my heart. I was too busy with preplanned stuff to see much of him for ages :) But I keep up with all my other stuff cos you never know...Don't ever be dependent on one person for yr social & emotional life.

Good post Looby

Contacting the gf would just feed the fantasy & couldn't be a one-off message & run - she'd want some sort of explanation. How do you even know how to contact her?

I did run into ex with a woman 6 months after the breakup - I don't know if she had anything to do with it & don't need to. It was one of the worst nights of my life :( but with hindsight I can see it was perhaps the impetus I needed to move on. Which you MUST do.

Oh user, how shitty of him. Just focus on clearing him out of your life so that you're ready for that perfect person when the time is right. If you met someone amazing tomorrow would you really want to meet them with this hanging over you? Would it be fair? What a wasted opportunity that would be. Try and get this out of your life and put yourself in a position where you could meet someone with a clean slate and no nasty dramas lingering on ready to fuck things up for you.

If you do tell the gf I'd advise screen shots over fb then BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK. You do not want to get dragged into this, you do not want it in your life; it will only drag you down. Plan for a bright future, there will be one waiting for you when you're in a position to be ready for it.

Great post Loobyloo.

Thank you to everybody. I Massively appreciate the support. I have pondered on doing the freedom programme before now. To clarify, it was not a one time thing we saw each other a few times. I guess he just got under my skin.

Have you blocked him now User999966666 ???

Yes I have looby.

FGS, just block him, he used you, you know that, he's sniffing around again for another shag, remind yourself that he has a GIRLFRIEND who he is also having sex with, have some self respect OP and tell him to do one, oh and make sure you tell his GF exactly what he's been doing.

Yes to his seeking attention mentioned up thread. He wants to orchestrate a cat fight and then sit back and have a jolly good laugh at your expense. ..and all over his sexual prowess. Embarrassing.

Drop the rope-do not participate in this. Erase the bastard from your life and mean it.

Not your circus, not your monkeys anymore, right?

You said tou tx back, more than once? Did you end up having a conversation?

He doesn't sound worthy of your time.

Block him. He sounds like a dick. I think the less women respond to men like this the less ego they'll have. Make time for you have a hot bubble bath with some wine and watch a chick flick and forget about him.