Really horrible email from ex

[ThirdTurd]

I bumped into my ex on the weekend when I was visiting the city I grew up in.
We broke up 11 years ago and it was not a clean and pleasant break-up. Since we broke up we've seen each other in person once (about nine years ago) and managed to be civil for the ten minutes we were waiting in the queue at a cafe.
He emailed me via LinkedIn about six years ago as I'd appeared on his page as 'Someone You Might Know' and he was just emailing to say Hi. I emailed back and then that was that.

Anyway, on Saturday I bumped into him and we went for a coffee. It was all very pleasant and we chatted for about an hour about life in general.

In the early hours of this morning (I was awake) I received a really nasty email from him. I suspect he was drunk because it's littered with spelling errors and just doesn't make sense in places. Basically he berated me for being a 'stuck up bitch' and told me he feels sorry for me because my life is small, boring and going nowhere. He said that I'd tried to make him feel small with my boasting about my 'perfect life' (I really don't have a perfect life and I really wasn't boasting) but it just made him sad at how much I've done 'everything right' and not pushed myself or had any experience of the world. He also told me I'd let myself go and I looked really bad for my age.

I went on to his FB account (we're not friends, it's public) and he'd put a status update at 1am about not needing any bitches or something. This morning, the status has disappeared.

I know I should just ignore the email. But I want to reply and tell him some home truths. I want to post it on FB tagging his mum (who's very feminist) in.

WWYD? I need to ignore it don't I?

An apology is something!

"I hope we can be friends" - I ask you.
Hope away, you abusive idiot.

Well, I hope his apology gives you closure.

But as you are not the dumping ground for his "feelings", ignoring and having nothing more to do with him is entirely reasonable. Block if you feel like. This man clearly adds nothing to your life.

I'm glad he apologised.

I wouldnt want to ignore it, people like this do it because no one ever tells them to fuck off! You can respond and also keep your dignity.

"Thank you for your apology, however given the nastiness of the message you sent to me I do not feel that it would be appropriate for us to be friends. I wish you well but please do not contact me again."

I really don't think you reply and open any king of discourse with him.

Ignore.

What a sad pathetic fool he turned out to be!

Well done for ignoring!

You did the right thing coming on here to vent, gotta love MN!

He sounds jealous, lacking in self esteem and rather unhinged.

Ignore

I actually feel a little bit sorry for him. I bet he is really, really embarrassed now. He has self-esteem issues, feels his life has not gone the way he´d like, met his ex who is doing great without him, then got drunk and sent a stupid email.

I wouldn´t respond as you don´t want to be the person he emails every time he gets drunk and feels shit about himself from now on, but I also wouldn´t get worked up about it.

I feel a bit sorry for him too - the first email was classic projection; everything he said about you was aimed at himself. He must be very unhappy. But that's not your problem - just ignore.

I would ignore and take great satisfaction in the idea of him forever wondering and worrying what you must think of him. Should you bump into him in the future I would go with icy politeness (probably tinged with disdain) and say as little as possible before needing to be elsewhere. Horrible email for you to receive but I agree with pp's that he's projecting and you should try not to dwell on it

"I appreciate the apology, but no, James, I don't think we can be friends. All the best though."

In this case, I don't think silence is the best response. I'd reply with Bogeyface's suggestion and block him / set any further emails from him to go to junk. That way you've made it clear no more contact is acceptable and if he bothers you again you can take it further quicker, should you need to. You see, to me, it's fucking weird that he would lash out like that at you after all this time, and so better to cut it off unambiguously.

Just continue to ignore. He's the one with issues, not you. You hardly ever see him anyway, just once in a blue moon. Let him feel guilty/embarrassed if he wants. He's not worth your time or effort.

I'd reply 'thanks for the info' and then block his email address or put a rule that any emails you get from him to go straight to trash.

He's obviously really hurting.
Not your problem though.

Good that he aplologised. But you write back bright and breezy- no problem Jon, but I don't want anymore contact. All the best!

Then block. Seriously back.

Ask him to put up a Farcebook status about how he got drunk and emailed insults to you and how much he apologises for his behaviour. See how sorry he really is.

He'll be hoping for a response so that he can:

A: feel better (if you're nice)
B: justify his belief you're 'stuck up' etc (if you're not.)

Don't respond. You have got closure now, he never will.