Partner and money

[Bubbles201616]

Living with my partner for over a year. Should he tell me how much maintenance he pays his Exs for his kids?

But he doesn't bother paying towards your home or child much - you said that!

Actually, his existing children do come before his and food. If he can't afford to pay for his children, why the fuck did he go on to make another child with you?

He should move somewhere cheaper and yes, skip meals before he lets his children down.

When he moves woman and child number 4, and you're the latest one left waiting for your daughter's CM, what will be your opinion then? That his rent and starting yet another family he can't be bothered to pay for is more important than his responsibility to your daughter?

CM is not optional.

I think your wedding savings question is pointless really.
Yes, if you share finances and suspend saving temporarily, then he should tell you when that changes. Of course he does.

Why do you actually want to save to marry this feckless shite?

Perhaps once work picked up, he couldn't yet resume saving for this big mistake of a wedding because he was still paying off the arrears he owed?
Seems unlikely.

Should he talk about finances before marriage? Yes of course. How else can you plan for the future and budget for bills if he doesn't tell you a thing? He should be contributing already to the household pot and IF after paying everything there's some left, that should go into three pots - one to cover for when work his slow for him, because whether he likes it or not he still has financial responsibilities; one for savings which covers stuff breaking; and the third pot for wedding/family holidays.. That's the adult way of being in a relationship, not deciding which bills to pay and ignoring others.
Also don't know why he is paying for a child not his. Especially when his bio children are going without.

If you're on a low income, you continue to pay child support, that's why it's usually calculated as a percentage. So you don't starve, but you do keep paying so your kids don't either. You don't just stop paying. That's irresponsible.

You should be able to discuss finances openly with a partner. If he's cagey about these things, it's not a good basis for a long-term relationship.

OP, i think you're a bit fixated on the wedding & not seeing the bigger picture here.

He's hit & miss in terms of supporting his previous children & isn't contributing much to your household.

Sod the wedding!

No I don't agree that the children come before our house as if we don't pay our bills/rent we would have no where to live.

Wrong.

He should make sure his children don't go without before himself. That's what being a parent is about.

If he can't afford to pay for his children and his house, then he'll need to live somewhere cheaper. Or work more hours.

Don't marry him. He pays zero towards your DC or your (joint) living costs. Thinks nothing of stopping paying for his other DC when he wants.

If you marry your assets he pays nothing for become joint assets. If you don't discuss money have you discussed protection what is yours after you have married?

I'm failing to see the advantages of you marrying this man or how he enhances your life TBH.

Maybe he's a good fuck.
For some,this is enough to live with a cocklodger.