My best friend started seeing a guy nearly three months ago. She's been single, some single dates and two very short-lived (ie, two month relationships) aside, for 10 years. She's attractive, interesting and intelligent and independent. No children.
Her one serious LTR lasted 5 years but she admits she became a total doormat. Her friends and family didn't like him much because how she changed over time. Now she's been seeing a chap for almost three months and she's already reverting to being a bit of a doormat.
She always said she would never date someone who'd been married before or had kids, as if she was ever to do this, she wanted it to be mutual first time. The older she has got, I figured she may need to compromise (possibly on the marriage thing as being the easier of the two to jettison). She is now approaching 40.
This guy, after being constantly chatty on the phone or text, started to cool off, made her think she was cooling off (when she wasn't) and is constantly blowing her off with excuses. He's always very busy (which I could accept but he only sees his three kids every other weekend), seemingly has regular work issues at night (had to stay in to do a two-hour disciplinary on Friday night this last week).
Yet she continues to go along with this. Every friend doesn't get it, thinks he's taking her for a mug and whenever you ask about him, instead of being blissfully happy, it is quite clear she is anything but. It's like she is so lonely after so long, she's prepared to accept a few crumbs.
Why do so many women put up with shit? In the early days, you tend to show off your best side. If within three months, a guy starts doing this, and making you feel down so often, why don't you bash it on the head?