How to make DP share the work at home?

[tostaky]

Long story short - I used to work FT then after 3rd pregnancy I stopped as it was too hectic.
LO has started nursery in sept and I am training as a teacher. DP does nothing at home. Fair enough he earns lots and I was home with the kids before but I can no longer deal with everything (we also have a small business which I manage entirely).
I completely lost it with him earlier. Which is unusual of me.
He is a great dad, articulate and smart too and good looking I suppose. And he earns enough for me to stay home.
But I want to do something with my life and I feel it is not fair to let me deal with 3 kids, a house and a business and our meagre social life.
When I bring the topic on the table he says I chose to work, so I have to deal with it. If I'm not happy then I should quit or do something less time consuming. He is refusing to help. With some nagging I can make him empty the dishwasher once in a while or take the bins out. Nothing more. He is great apart from that.
Give me all the arguments I need to make him take on at least one or two things (the business and take all the kids one morning per weekend = that would be ideal) or shopping and preparing meal/giving instructions to the nanny about what to feed them.
Thanks

I don't 'get' why your not married or why your doing teacher training!

You have a nanny & a cleaner...

I think you're making it hard work for yourself. Are you not organised? You already have help you don't have to tell people what your kids need to wear either get it out yourself or not worry about what a child is wearing. Leave notes have a board for what the kids are doing in certain days. You sound like hard work when it really isn't that hard

She has three kids, runs a business single handedly, has sole responsibility for running the household and is a full time student .

I get why she's busy.

If all your kids are reception age and older I can't see how you need a nanny. Get yourself a full-time house-keeper who's willing to do school drop-offs and collections in addition doing meals and supervising the cleaner. I was a full-time live-out nanny once upon a time to family with three young children (2, 4 & 6 when I started). The family had a cleaner twice a week and I did all the shopping, tidying, laundry and meals, plus school drop-offs and collections, baths and stories at bed-time. Such a person cannot be hard to find. Later when the kids were older the mother accompanied the kids to their outside school activities while looked after the other two. This sort of arrangement would leave you free to run this business and do your studying.

How much does running this business demand of your time?

He's out of the house for 12 hours on work-days so I'm not surprised that he doesn't welcome being expected to do housework when he gets in. You have a cleaner to do that. Once the children are in bed, there can only be a few dinner-dishes to wash and their clothes to put away. When I was a nanny my employers didn't even have to do that because I'd done it all before I left to go home at 8pm.

Regardless of how little your husband does there is no way you can complete your PGCE and run a business (unless it's a small Ebay type business). So I think you should ditch either the business or the PGCE.

I teach, regularly put in 12 hour days, and a lot of weekend hours, it's relentless. I couldn't have done it when my kids were smaller. If you can employ staff to help, then great, but do consider dropping the business if it is taking up a lot of time. If it's successful and expanding then put the teaching on hold.

The final term of PGCE is very challenging and many students who are on placement during that term in our Faculty are exhausted and on their knees. I don't want to put you off, but don't underestimate the increasing workload.

We have a cleaner and a nanny

Biggest drip feed EVER.
OP, did you not think this was relevant to the information you were sharing in your OP ?