He hasn't come home...

[Jess89Amie]

Hi all
This is my first post on Mumsnet - but seriously freaking out.

My boyfriend went out last night - at around 7pm with "the boys".

I had dinner a glass of wine and went to bed around 11:30pm, expecting him to roll in around 3am.

It's now 7:30 - no sign. No text. No call.

I tried calling/texting and no answer!

Should I be worried?

He has never done this before xxx

Hopefully he's back with you, or at has least been in touch by now but if not I reckon you are right to be worried.

However at 7am its totally feasible that he's crashed at a mate's, not woken up yet and, last nigh/early this morning, was too either drunk to operate his phone, too drunk for it to occur to him that you would worry or didn't intend to stay but fell asleep.

Hopefully he's absolutely fine, got too drunk and passed out on a mates couch. I'm sure he'll be home feeling sheepish and rather worse for wear very soon if he isn't already.

He is back.

Fell asleep on a friends sofa.

We are due to be married in May, live together and have been together 4 years.

He has never done anything like this before.

I guess it's a mistake - just feel hurt that I would never do this

We've made up as a don't want it to ruin the weekend.

But I can't help feeling very disappointed xx

I don't blame you. I'd be furious

I'd be really cross. I wouldn't go to easy on him. Or he may think it's ok to do occasionally. Did you ask him why he hadn't answered calls/texts or told you where he was?

Glad he's back safe and sound.

I would struggle to believe that he fell asleep on his friends sofa, but then there are far too many men who go back to strange women's house only to up and leave when their wives/ girlfriends start calling wondering where they are! You only need to read this relationships board regularly to see that!

I would be checking his phone! In my experience most happily married/ engaged men are happy to make it home to bed with their wives/ fiancée! Its the cheaters who stay out all night warming someone else's bed!

I really hope I'm wrong but it would definitely be the time to find out, before you are tied by marriage and kids!

If he doesn't have form for it during 4 years, I wouldn't be immediately thinking it's because he's with another woman. I imagine he's probably just fallen asleep, exactly as he said. Still not good though.

Jess maybe when he's sober and awake, you might need to explain to him very seriously with your anger evident that you were worried because such shit behaviour didn't seem characteristic, and that there can't be a next time?
I had an EXP who did this sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. For years. I must've thought he would grow out of it but should've left him after he did it twice. He always insisted he wasn't cheating, so not all men will be, it's just not a relationship pattern you want.

I notice there's threads like this every weekend and they are nearly always about men not coming home!

Hardly surprising with the vast majority of posters on here being women.

I'm unsure how the vast majority of us being women makes it hardly surprising that men don't return home at the end of the night?

?? Well, if it were a forum full of men then the partner being moaned about would, statistically, be female!

I think you misunderstood the post a little!