Custardo, unfortunatly he is just strange. I can't work out why he ever had kids or married my mother when she already had them.
He is simply not interested in any of us (to be fair uncluding his biological children, its got nothing to do with him being my step father)
I talk to him about once a year on the phone. (because he won't not because I don't try), when I go home to visit (an event that is getting rarer and rarer) he basically goes up to his room and comes down again when I leave. He appears for meals etc but doesn't really talk.
He recently said: "I can't see what pleasure you get from forcing me to come to your wedding". And "I can't see what pleasure you got from forcing me to come to your graduation" - which was, incidentally, one of the few memories I had of him making an effort.
My mother simply denies the reality of it all, she says - you remember the words but not the meaning behind them.
I'm sorry, it seems to me that some words are very clear.
I showed him my new earings at christmas - he said "fuck of and show them to someone who gives a damn" - this was the day after the row about the fact that no-one in the family had even mentioned my engagement even though we hadn't seen them since we got engaged. - which incidentally ended in me fleeing the room in tears.
My mothers response to that was "well, I wasn't there so I can't know how he meant it".
EXCUSE ME? How many other ways can you mean something like that.
But I am desperate for him to love me, its just really hard to give up on something like that.