please help if you can i cant aford a solicitor and i have absolutely now here to turn...can I force a sale on a joint property if he pays nothing?

[CakeLover0]

I have lived in the property alone 6 years. He pays maintenance but nothing to mortgage. I have struggled and struggled paying it whilst studying/working. We have 2 children. The boiler broke last winter. He wouldn't pay anything to help. We without heating and hot water for 3 months. He will not pay a penny towards anything or help with childcare when he lives around the corner. I have to pay childcare. We havnt been on holiday. We scrape while he holidays twice a year.
I put the house up for sale 2 months ago ( he agreed) sold it but I couldn't find anywhere to rent. I searched and searched. The council said I was to be homeless and we would be placed in a hostel 40 miles away until a house was available. I couldn't do that so thought right let's carry on I've managed 6 years of absolute he'll I can do another 2 as I will then be a qualified nurse.
I had 2 bailiffs on my door 3 days ago (long story - council tax mess up that I honestly didn't owe but hadn't filled in paperwork only showed bank statements- tried to appeal it and couldn't ) they cleared my account (Christmas savings) I haven't got any money in my account. The girls need winter coats. I have back dated childcare and no money for Christmas presents. I'm desperate. So a friend of a friend is looking to buy a property to rent out. He wanted something cheaper than mine but has offered what we owe plus arears. Meaning it's 20k less than asking price but we get to stay in the property. I felt like all my nightmares had ended so I called my exH and he said if I'd sold 2 months ago he would of got 6k and me around 13k. I said I know that but we had nowhere to go. This way, ok we get nothing but arears will clear and the girls stay in there home. He said no I'm not doing that.
Please if anyone can advise me if I can force this sale. I can't get legal aid it's stopped. I have no money and I need to pay childcare next week to go to work.
My mortgage company won't help as I have had to eviction warnings.

the 'friend of a friend' could evict you and the DC after 6 months. Don't do it if you can find any other way.

Thankyou. I really need help but can't afford a solicitor.

How much does your ex earn?

6 years ago 365 take home. After tax.

6 years ago 365 take home. After tax.

So assuming he hasn't changed jobs that isn't a huge wage so very unlikely he would be asked to pay the mortgage on top of his own rent and bills.

Are you in a student or nursing Union? if so you might be able to access legal advice through them.

I am worried that you seem to think your council would help you to find a house. I think it is highly unlikely that they will . If you were to sell the house for less than market value to your 'friend 'who then evicts you then it is possible that their immediate reaction will be that you are pulling a fast one and have pocketed the cash. If they then declare you intentionally homeless then even with children you are scuppered.

Please do not sell your only financial asset and future security. Bite the bullet, deal with the base cause of your financial problems which is that their father is not properly supporting his children

I am with rcn union. OK I shall do that!
Thankyou

Also, does your uni have a law dept? They often have students providing supervised free legal advice.

Also a small thing but in the meantime ask on your local Freecycle website for outgrown winter coats? I gladly give things I don't need away if see someone ask and like the principle of things being reused. Eg I gave someone a table and chair set who'd moved house as was clearing ours and it often works

Hi folks.

Just popping by with our usual reminder that we do advise all our members to be aware that not everyone on t'internet is who they say they are, and that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

CakeLover hope things look up for you soon and you manage to sort something out and get some good solicitory advice. All the best.

Universities have to offer hardship grants and loans, please apply urgently.

Absolutely go on Freecycle and ask for clothing etc. you need most people have children's clothes to get rid of!

Also think about rearranging your bedrooms and offering one out to rent, renting out a room in your home comes under special rules for taxation etc. - even if they pay you minimal and it's contributing to your utility bills (will have to pay council tax though).

It sounds as though you should be getting more than a 60:40 split of the home anyway, do you think he is paying you the CMS maintenance rate or is he ripping you off with that too?

Good luck

Thankyou
I have decided to seek advice and if I can stay with extra help which I'm hoping my uni will advise. He had ignored my begging anyway.
I am guessing it's about right. 365 take home. 300 a month for 2 children. If I go to the csa he will know and cancel my payments then I will be out of money until csa sort it. So I'm too scared to.

I can't stress enough that, while you certainly do need immediate legal advice, you contact orgs such as Womens Aid and the Freedom Programme. Once you get your head straight about the type of man he is, you won't need to do any begging.

YOu can't not afford legal representation. ime I paid my lawyer a small amount by direct debit over many years. I was also awarded the house until the youngest finished their first degree - a good 20 years after the divorce. The courts will protect the children first and foremost.

You're doing this all on your own - it is pitiful. You don't need to! Womens Aid have all the power to come to your aid and to find a way for you, all under one roof. Contact them now!

Thankyou springy
I have thought about it non stop. I won't sell for lower price not that I can anyway as he is saying no but surely he can't dictate if I sell through a estate agent for asking price. I would love to stay but I can't afford it alone. I'm broke! Frightened for us and just need this to be over. I can't struggle to pay the mortgage fore another 10-12 years and him walk away with thousands.
He is an awful man. He didn't turn up to pick the girls up today. He has them every other Sunday for a few hours. I have cried all day. What a mess!
I have asked my mum if I can move in with her which isn't ideal as it's tiny. I just hope I can enforce a sale and manage the mortgage until it sells.
I want to say thankyou for being there everyone this weekend.

Any chance your Mum would move in with you?

If you don't sell fro 10-12 years and you pay the mortgage all that time then he no longer gets 60:40 of what the house is worth when it sells!

This is why you need legal advice

I would seriously look at renting out a room even if it means you having the box room and the girls the middle one. Renting is so precarious.

I know the student loans at the uni I work are often repaid over a long, long period of time - £5 per month kind of thing. It wouldn't even be secured against your property.

Another angle is that if your Ex name on the mortgage and payments are defaulted he is still liable and they would persue him too - he could end up with a CCJ etc against him and unable to borrow money... Does he need to be reminded of this? If he wants to sell at this price then he needs to start paying 50% of the mortgage until a sale is completed?

In 10-12 years he will get a % though. It's unfair I struggle and I mean struggle for this to happen.
My mum has just down sized and mortgage free.
If I rent a room it will be classed as an income as bursaries are means tested now.
He doesn't pay anything and hasn't in 6 years. The mortgage company arnt interested they just want payment.
I have told him I will walk away leaving us both in debt. He isn't bothered as he lives with his girlfriend with no intention of buying as it's her own house.

I don't know your family relationships But would your Mum move in with you & rent out her house? Maybe help with childcare? Until you are finished with course and on a sound financial footing?

365 take home? Is that £365 a week?

You should repost on legal - I was not initially clear that you were married but as you are then it is possible that IF the court thinks that you can in fact keep up with the mortgage and provide the house as a roof over the children's heads that the whole of the equity would be transferred to you.

You need some good legal advice and to start thinking about how to increase your income such as rent a room etc as has been suggested above

Ask cab if selling under market value will be classed as deprivation of assets if you need to claim means tested benefits in the future.
Good luck op. Keep a diary as evidence of how he is messing your children around - you never know when you may need it.

Daft question but could you take the box room and rent out your room? This could make a massive difference. A doctor or nurse maybe? Or maybe someone who needs a room locally when on shift?

If you are married does he have a pension? If he is getting equity are you getting some pension transferred?

I can't have anyone move in I lose my bursary. I have asked before and he is entitled to a % when my youngest is 18.
365 take home yes.
Thankyou all so much. I have to sell I can't take anymore. I can't afford the upkeep. If my mortgage company would just allow interest only but they won't.
I wish I had kept a diary of the last 6 years.
I don't know about pension or anything.

Selling the house to the landlord would be crazy. That equity will be mainly yours.

You need legal help and a divorce.
Can you ask the solicitor about paying the bill from the equity release when you sell the house?
Will your mum help with a short term loan?
Have you anything to sell?
Did you take a payment break from your mortgage?
Have you asked about your mum being guarantor and only paying interest for two years?
Can you extend the term?
Have you looked into every option with the mortgage company?
Have you stripped your spending down to the bone?

If he hasn't contributed all these years then his split will be much less. I'd try to hang onto that house as it will be difficult to get another. Personally I would push for all of the equity, or 5% in twenty years.