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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH gone to rehab

3 replies

helpmedotherightthingagain · 05/10/2016 12:02

After a pretty awful couple of months (years?) DH has finally gone into rehab. He will be there for a month at least. I am so happy that he is finally sorting out his problem. The trouble is, things have been pretty horrible for me for a while now. I have learnt to detach from him and get on with my own life. I'm angry at him. I no longer want to live the life of an addicts wife. I want something better for my children too. The question is, how on earth to I tell him I don't want him to come home? He has a hard job of facing up to his addiction and staying clean and sober. I want to be supportive but not at the cost of my and my children's happiness. I feel trapped by his addictions and not wanting to mess up his recovery. But I cant live like this any more, can I?

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 05/10/2016 12:09

Telling him now could be the best thing since he will have the support in place. It would be worse to hear after leaving. Can you discuss with a member of staff and plan it to make it as easy as it can be? He will have to learn to be sober and separated which is sad but reality.

Very good luck to you.

BelladiNotte · 05/10/2016 13:07

I'm 100% with matilda on this. Give the Unit a ring now and get an appointment. Tell them what you've told us and ask for help facilitating the change that's got to happen for your own sake and that of your children.And stay firm.
All the best to you both. And ring them!
Flowers

Guiltypleasures001 · 05/10/2016 14:33

Hi op

I echo all the previous posters, rehab is also about facing up to the damage done now past and future, you have a right to a clean life as do your dc.

Phone the unit and tell them, make plans incase he refuses treatment and comes home when given the news Flowers

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