First post here and I have no clue about the lingo, so please be kind ;-)
I'm in a predicament of having knowledge of a family matter and could do with opinions, advice and warnings, maybe even reassurance that I would be doing the right thing. The situation - Mother early 40s, Father early 60s, married for 6yrs, 4 children b17, g15, (first 2 step children to Father), b8, (third step child to Father) b4, Fathers only child with the Mother. Middle class, respectable, blah. Mother has been physically and mentally abusing all the children's Fathers over their relationships with her, I would like to give examples but we all know what types of abuse can happen. Father/husband excluded from the home. He has been convinced that if he reports in anyway, because he is 'old and useless' etc, he will loose his son. She convinced him (kinda reasonable) into reducing his working hours to take care for b4, so she could join the police force, (just to add insult to his many unreported injuries). He is a broken man and a classic victim of domestic abuse and I love him, he's close family. The children have seen many acts of physical and verbal violence towards the men that have been caught in her trap. Mother appears as butter wouldn't melt and lies overwhelmingly. Many of Father's family have been pushed away by her. G15 laughed when witnessing violent assaults on b4's Father as she sees it as acceptable behaviour. It is known that Mothers mother is the same as is Mother's brother. They all rule with an iron fist. Father is truly in denial about reporting to any authority. And doesn't seem to see the damage that has been, and continues to be done to the 4 children. He is a doting Father and is still at her beck and call regarding b4, which means he gets to spend time with b4, but has been threatened that Mother will take that away. (Classic abuse cycle)
Question - do I do the right thing and report this to Social services (I can't report to police as I have never personally been witness)
Does anyone have some insight in this area. I feel that I need a bit of reassurance or slapping round the face with a wet fish for the potential pitfalls, dangers and risks involved. How well trained are Social Workers in spotting violent manipulative Mothers, whilst they accuse the Father? Ps. Respect to any Social Workers out there, super tough job. Thanks in advance everyone. From a pretty worried family member 