How to cope with a new woman in my children's life?

[Notwhatiexpected]

My husband has done it all, and if we didn't have kids I would have emigrated to the moon to escape. But I can't pull the plug on our marriage, can't divorce because I cannot cope with the thought that I will be replaced at lightening speed, and then have to compete with another woman for my kids.
How do divorced mums and dads cope with this? My kids are 8 and 5. It is just so unfair, I have been lied to over and over again, treated appallingly. I have been royally f**cked over by this man, I am so angry, and the thought of being punished further by having to share the kids with someone I will have no hand in choosing is staggeringly unfair.

Cross post, I was replying as to whether he would find it easy to move on with another relationship.

If you're ever going to leave you need to mentally disattach yourself. You're way too invested in what will happen to him afterwards.

I think you have a valid point , for years I struggled with the same thoughts how am I going to manage what if the ex gets a new partner I was with a narcissist and I struggled for years , last year I found out he was cheating on me and kicked him out, the last year have been hell but I am far more happy being on my own, the ex partner I still hate but my kids will make up there own mind on her , the best part is when they come home and tell me am the best mummy in the world and they have missed me , just makes me feel like am doing the best job I can. You need to leave your husband and be happy for your kids cause that’s what they want :) it’s not easy am not going to lie but mediation have been the way forward and as a single mum with a low income you get help with all the legal cost so it takes the stress of your worries. You need to be selfish and just think of yourself cause you need to be happy for the sake of your kids. Wish you all the luck xx