we disagree alot about discipline? what to do

[wobblyknees]

i take the approach, i think alot of mums here do, to allow a child time to come round if having tantrum or an explsove moment, usually because i kinda know whats casued it or that in 15mins they'll come to me and say they are sorry. and forget about it an hr later.

whereas dh is terribly short with them and doesnt get under fives and how they dont understand, cause and effect or consequence.
he says "right i 'll take all your toys away now to the poor people" or something stupid like that.

whereas i take the low tone voice approach and perceivere with that until something happens. i hate to see the mupset and want to help them undestand why they are. whereas he is so dogmatic and mean about it, saying he was never like that as a child (like he can remeber, another stupid thing to say) and i should listen to him.

i am so fed up with this. there are times when a bold move on one of the childrens part deserves a giving out, but other times its a little bit more needy.

am i wrong or doing it wrong.
i just feel crap about it really.

Actually, if he had a really strict parent he can probably remember all too well! My dad was the same and didn't get it either. We weren't allowed to get upset or angry about something, and if we did we'd either get in more trouble (and hence get more upset) or we'd get laughed off in a rather nasty way. It wasn't that he meant to be nasty, it was just his bad attempt at humorously laughing it off. Or we'd hear how much worse he had it as a kid, which he did (not that that is useful to tell a child).

Maybe your hubby hasn't any other experience to compare with, and is just following the example he was set?

I think your approach is a good one. Maybe you can talk him into going to a parenting course/group with you? It might help for him to see how others do it also? Maybe ask him how he felt when he was a child on the receiving end? I remember, and am determined not to go down that path with mine.