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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it even worth it or am I just the backup ?

10 replies

yeser · 02/10/2016 08:16

So been chatting to a guy on tinder since last week, spoke a lot through messages first night, learned a little about each other, about what we are both looking for etc (he says he is looking for a relationship and isn't into just hook up etc so all good) at present he is also working a lot.... Fine understand that.

Messages have been exchanged since then, not loads but I usually get a message late arvo saying something along the lines of "hey sorry been mental at work, still here will speak tonight" evening will come around and sometimes I will get a message which I reply to and usually he then doesn't reply"

On on Wednesday he said he would love to take me about at asked if I was free at weekend, said yes and asked what suited him with work, he said Saturday night... I agreed all good

So things have continued with a little messaging and Friday we spoke for a bit late arvo, exchanged a few messages and he asked for what I was up to that evening so replied telling him and then got no reply

Saturday (yesterday) comes around and have heard nothing more about meeting up so I just drop him a text and we exchange a few and he says again about meeting up and suggest Sunday, I agree and he says he will text me later when he finishes work

He doesn't!! So Sunday is here

I'm kinda wondering if this is worth it or am I maybe being kept on the back burner incase whoever he is currently dating doesn't work out

Don't get me wrong I understand about dating others etc, but I need to plan for a date as I have children. But I more for the meet up for a drink quickly and see if you even get on, like each other etc rather than wasting each other's time by texting

OP posts:
SlinkyVagabond · 02/10/2016 08:18

Bin him, life is too short.

cansu · 02/10/2016 08:19

God he sounds like he is pissing u about. If he flakes out on another arrange ment I wouldnt engage anymore. Maybe he is in a relationship?

laurenandsophie · 02/10/2016 08:21

Move on. Wait for a man who puts in the effort.

Paulat2112 · 02/10/2016 08:24

He's not worth it. If it's this hard to get a reply or a date at the start, don't take it further

yeser · 02/10/2016 08:32

Thanks for replying I was worried I was expecting to much to soon

But more I think about it I just kind of think something isn't right, he says all the right things (about what he is looking for etc) but I have learned from experience action are more important than words!

Also wondering if he could be in s relationship other than first night messaging on tinder I have noticed he never texts in evening just when he's at/on way home from work.... He may not be maybe he is dating others which is fine but I'm not going good to sit in the background for weeks while he decides if he current one is going to work out

OP posts:
HandyWoman · 02/10/2016 09:13

OP you're right. This guy is neither available nor enthusiastic. It's not happening. The right guy will not confuse you or be flaky. The right guy will communicate respectfully, make plans and stick to them.

I doubt you'll hear from him again but you should block and delete anyway.

hermione2016 · 02/10/2016 09:55

Don't waste anymore time, the energy you are putting into thinking through this isn't worth it.

niceupthedance · 02/10/2016 10:03

It shouldn't be like getting blood out of a stone. If someone hasn't arranged details of a date including time, place, at least two days in advance I would not bother with them. Shows a lack of interest.

TheNaze73 · 02/10/2016 17:20

He's not really interested op

SoleBizzz · 02/10/2016 17:23

Get rid

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