Nutty friend

[doggydogg]

I met my friend 4 years ago, our DD's are the same age and started school together.

I noticed at first that she was quite strict with her DD but nothing out of the ordinary.

As time went on she invited me over for a cuppa, I went and everything was fine, she seemed lovely but then on a couple of occasions when we were walking the kids home from school she would completely lose her rag with her DD for the slightest thing and really shout at her...again not too out of the ordinary.

Anyway after a few months she invited me and my DD's down at the weekends and this is when I saw the full extent of her temper, her DD would do the slightest thing wrong and my friend would scream and shout very aggressively at her, one time she was combing her hair for her and her DD said she was hurting so my friend hit her over the head with the brush and said "there, now it hurts doesn't it?" , her DD was blatently terrified of her and my own DD's were getting that way too so I stopped taking them down as much.

Anyway over the years this behaviour has got worse, she's since had another child and is like it with him too screaming, shouting and really hitting him for the slightest thing. A few weeks ago we were there and her DD asked for a drink...my friend then picked her up by her throat, dragged her into the kitchen and started screaming and shouting in her face, my DD started crying and asked to go home is was that bad. Another time her DD threw the cat down the stairs and my friend went to do it to her as a punishment but was thankfully disturbed (I wasnt there at the time, heard about it from another friend).

She's just as bad with her pets, she beats her dog if it does anything wrong and she hits and bites her cats for bad behaviour, she is also violent towards her husband.

In the past 2 months she's had 3 huge arguments with people, one was with a close friend after she shouted at her child, she then accussed her of child abuse etc... another argument was with a neighbour which resulted in her grabbing this woman by the throat and the final straw came when another argument broke out with a different neighbour who threatened to report her to the SS and said the whole street had heard her shouting and swearing at her kids.

She genuinly doesn't think she's doing anything wrong and she comes to me complaining about people constantly picking arguments with her...how on earth do I tell her that they're right and I agree with them? My own DP has wanted to report her to the SS himself.

do it - report her
report the pets to rspca.
do it now

Social Services.
RSPCA.
Now.

report her to social services and the RSPCA now. her children are at risk.

Have you just stood by and said nothing whilst she was dragging her child by the throat and screaming at her? Did you not say that her behaviour was frightening your dd and that was why you were leaving?

I don't understand why you are afraid to tell her that you agree with others about her behaviour. By saying nothing, you are colluding in her belief that her behaviour is not wrong.

Call the NSPCC and the RSPCA.

I think she is prob to unpredictable (or to predictable!) for you to confront, i would report her to nspcc and voice your concerns as tmmj suggested. Please do it soon, as you have said the behaviour is getting worse, she needs professional help and so do her children. Good luck

Freckle, the last time someone told her that she tried to strangle them!

doggydogg waht are you going to do? have you phoned anyone yet?

Perhaps someone needs to point out that strangling someone because they comment on the way you are behaving is not the action of a sane person. She needs to be made aware that her behaviour is not normal and by people failing to say anything she will continue to believe that it is.

tbh you don't have a choice in this matter. her children are at risk. you know that they are at risk. It is your duty to take steps to do something about it. You've posted about it on the internet now so the fact that there is a woman out there abusing her children is public knowledge and you are the one who has made it public knowledge.

pick up the phone now and make the call. if you don't you are partially responsible for what is happening to these children because you knew about it and haven't done anything about it.

Are you on the phone to Social Services yet?

do it before she seriously injures or kills one of her children.

I am sure you would rather report them and know that the children and animals are taken to a safe place, rather than reading about their deaths in the paper and wishing that you HAD done something.

PLEASE....RING THEM NOW

Where is her dh in all this? How does he treat the children? Is he aware of how she treats them?

this is in NO WAY normal behaviour. What disturbs me more is that if she will do these kind of things on front of other people then waht does she do in her own home when no one else is there?
You must do something to try and stop this.

I cannot believe that anyone would witness a mother treating her children like that and do absolutely nothing.

This is doggydogg's first post and I sincerely hope she is not a troll, but it's difficult to believe otherwise as any genuine poster wouldn't be posting about what she should do. She would already have done it.

Doggydog. I know it's hard, but you must do something now. Is there anything any of us can do to help YOU to help those children?

freckle I sincerely hope this is not a troll. because if it is this is beyond sick.

No I'm not a troll.

I have made an apointment to speak to the head of the school tomorow, I will tell her everything.

I have reported neglected children to the SS before and from past experience they do very little about it.

The longer the children are left in that abusive environment the harder it will be for them to grow up and not repeat the cycle of violence and abuse

Do something please.

if you have no faith in social services then ring the police and report it that way.