Feeling trapped

[rocketqueen]

I posted about this in a thread below but I thought it needed it's own thread.

Basically I'm with a bloke who I know is not right for me, everything he does irritates me but at the moment I'm feeling kind of stuck as we've booked a holiday abroad and have both paid alot of money out, my kids are so excited about going and I just couldn't cancel it now, they've had loads of holidays cancelled on them before and I can't do it again, not with this one.

I just don't know how to get through to him and even if I did and he decided to change, he wouldn't change properly, he'd just change his beahviour around me for a while.

He's even messing around with this holiday now, it's booked for August and he hasn't done a thing about his passport application yet, when I ask he says he needs to have the photo's done first and he can't do that until he's had a haircut etc etc... he's not even filled the forms in yet he's seen me running around like a blue arsed fly trying to get mine sorted out. He's now taken to whinging about how much it's costing him, last night I got "oh that last holiday payment has really skinted me...I have £100 left for the rest of the month now.." etc etc... I'm worried that even if he does come up with the rest of the money how will he ever save any spending money like this? All he keeps going on about is this stupid xbox game he wants.

He's so bloody childish all the time.

I feel like I've dug myself into a massive hole and there's no way out until August when the holiday is over with.

It's ok

If you are not going until August, he doesn't need to get his haircut NOW because you want him to. Forget the haircut, it's his photo not yours.

Now, if you were going Feb half term I could see the panic ....

Just let him pop into a crummy photobooth next time you are in town together. He has to live with it for 10 years not you - especially if you want to break up with him.

£100 for Feb - just stay in, it's only 3 weeks until payday.

Let him buy the Xbox game, or you get it for him for Valentines day. £35 isn't going to make much of a dent on holiday money in August

Everything else, all the relationship stuff, well you have to work that out with him we can only debate on the facts you have told us.

It's not me that wants him to get a haircut, its him thats refusing the have the photo done until he gets his stupid hair cut.

I'm not bothered about the xbox game either, what's pissing me off is that he seems inable to talk about the holiday, get his passports done or do anything else "grown up" but he can go out of his way for a stupid bloody game.

I'd just let it ride. Forget asking him or expecting him to be interested in the holiday. If he has no passport he can't travel and maybe that would be better for you and the DC?

If you know he's not right for you, spend less time with him, it sounds like he's stressing you out.

Do you live together?

TBH August is SIX months away. He has got time to get the passport done.

Your frustrations over the haircut/phot/passport/xbox game are more to do with your dissatisfaction with the whole relationship.

Do you REALLY want to go on holiday with him? There was another thread on here a while ago from someone who went on hols with her partner and her DCs and HE was a nightmare. Think it through carefully. If you do split with him before hand could someone else take his place on the holiday?

No we don't live together thankfully, I just feel so irritable about him all the time, probably because everytime I speak to him he says something stupid that winds me up. I keep trying to relax about everything but he's so clingy too, if I don't answer the phone he rings my mobile a million times and starts sending texts asking where I am and what I'm doing etc...if I don't go on msn on a night by a certain time he phones me to ask what I'm doing...it's bad enough knowing that I'm stuck with him until August without the constant irritance of talking to him everyday too

TBH I wouldn't remind him about the passport again and hope that he doesn't get one in time and then sod off without him and have fab holiday.

hi rocketqueen,
i have read yr threads about yr relationship with yr dp and 1 about your son.
i think the cause of yr son's behaviours is yr dp, he is copying him and he is not a child who doesnt have problems at home like you said in that thread, there is a big problem at your home and that is yr dp.
the best thing you can do is ditch him as soon as possible. he will drag you and your children down definitely.
cancel that holiday, you can find a valid reason and book one for you and for your children.
good luck.