NC'd for this as semi-regular posted and don't want it being associated with my other name.
For background: me, DP, DS (3) and DD (10 months) moved house last week. On top of that my dad was admitted to hospital on Friday, he got out a couple of days ago however it was potentially life threatening. I was visiting him regularly whilst trying to settle into the new place and he's been coming over for long periods since he got out so he's not alone. He could become ill again. Also, because we moved away from our previous house, DS is starting a new nursery today.
So it's been pretty full on and very stressful. Yesterday I was feeling extremely under pressure with everything going on and trying to sort out forms for DS starting nursery, my dad being round until late and my DD having a stinking cold so was up 3 times before midnight screaming inconsolably.
Last night DP went out to the pub with an old friend. He very rarely goes out without me, maybe 4 tmes a year. I text him at 12am to say DD was unwell so to please sleep downstairs so I could attend to her easily and in case I needed to bring her into bed with me.
I didn't hear him come in but at 2.30am I heard clattering (things falling) outside my bedroom and him going into DD's room then into DS's room. I thought he'd come back out to come into our room but when he never I went in and he was climbing on top of DS trying to get into the bed thinking it was our bed! It's a tiny toddler bed! I saw red and grabbed him and pulled him up and he told me to calm down he was trying to get into bed. So I turned him round and told him to get downstairs which he did. DS woke up but wasn't upset, I stayed with him a while until he fell back to sleep.
I went downstairs and into the kitchen and then noticed he had used the washing machine as a urinal and the kitchen floor was covered in it as well as the washing machine. I was livid by this point. He was asleep in his boxers in the living room so I looked for his clothes and they were in DS's room. His jeans were soaking and so were his socks from peeing in the kitchen.
I couldn't get back to sleep for hours and then DD was up at the crack of dawn for a feed and cuddle since she's poorly.
Whilst typing this he's got up from the couch and I presume went up to bed.
I don't know what to do. This is not acceptable behaviour to me. He has never once let me down before. We've been together 5 years. We have both been feeling the pressure with the move and he's been sleeping less than me as he has been getting up with DD in the night who has been waking frequently due to her cold. He is very hands on with the kids and everything he does is for our family and with us in mind.
He's been trying to have a night with this friend for a few weeks now but I talked him out of it each time because I know how bad they get when they're together. I think they've maybe been out two other times since we've been together. This is the worst I've experienced with him. He does drink more than I would like but he's never been as bad as this.
Last night I was going to text him photos of the mess he made of the kitchen and a text telling him to be gone (for a couple of days to give me space) by the time I come back from nursery. My anger has subsided so I'm kind of at a loss what to do now.
Sorry if this is all over the place!