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Original poster

Do all men "oggle" as much as dh

19 replies

windsmeup · 06/02/2007 10:24

Went out last night with dh (a rare occassion) and we were at a busy bar, dh ordering drinks from young pretty barmaid, dh checked out her bottom when she turned around, then again and then a third time just for good measure, it really winds me up, he did check to see if I had seen him, and I didn't let on I had, but it was like he couldn't take his eyes off her arse. He frequently does this and it really winds me up, I know all men like admiring women but it's like dh goes over the top. I have mentioned this to him in the past (when we were on holiday he positioned himself on sunbed with his sunglasses on conveniently in eyeshot of several topless young women) I often wonder if this is what he's like when I'm with him what's he like when I'm not? Yet he doesn't let me out of his site when we are out as he says if he leaves me for a minute some guy will make a pass at me! I'm often too preoccupied to notice other men. Is this much oggling normal???

OP posts:

Ulysees · 06/02/2007 10:28

no I think he's being rude. It's normal to look but this is OTT In my opinion

NotQuiteCockney · 06/02/2007 10:31

Yeah, I think that's rude. It's impossible to not see other people, but staring is naff and rude, to you and to them!

mumblechum · 06/02/2007 10:43

I'd kill him I'm afraid.

mylittlestar · 06/02/2007 10:44

I'd be very

Original poster

windsmeup · 06/02/2007 10:45

I was wondering if I was being over sensitive, I think if I'm honest I know other men oggle at me quite a lot, so it makes it worse when my own dh still feels the need to look at other women

OP posts:

Lizzylou · 06/02/2007 10:47

My DH doesn't (noticeably) eye up other women at all.
My ex-step dad did, loads very embarrassingly and made my friends very uncomfortable when they came round when we were growing up. My Mom has awful self-esteem as a result.
Leer at men, see how he likes it

anniemac · 06/02/2007 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 06/02/2007 10:48

kick him in the nads. hes being a twat

ItsMeMellowma · 06/02/2007 10:51

I would be furious with him!

Does he know you are not too happy about it?

DetentionGrrrl · 06/02/2007 10:55

er, no. My DP may well look at other girls (because he is human and has a pulse) but if he does it's subtle.

Original poster

windsmeup · 06/02/2007 10:55

I think that's the issue, I know some men are like that and some aren't, we've been out with a group of friends and I have often compared how much dh looks at other attractive women compared to the other guys we are out with, I just wish he wasn't like that, and it makes it even worse when I'm out alone with other male friends and they comment how many guys look at me, and yet I'm thinking yeah but it's a shame my dh would probably be too busy looking at some other woman!!

OP posts:

Original poster

windsmeup · 06/02/2007 10:58

It does effect my self esteem hugely and is a real turn off. When I've confronted him in the past he got very defensive and stated that I look at other guys, but I really honestly don't in that way, I find a personality in a guy more attractive than in a physical way, and just don't feel the need

OP posts:

FatFikAndFugly · 06/02/2007 11:04

I look at other men, my fella (generally) doesn't look at other women. I wouldn't do it if he noticed or if he didn't like it.

TeeCee · 06/02/2007 11:16

Dp will glance at a pretty girl sure, as will I (no I'm not bi-sexual). A good looking woman will turn male and female heads.
I think that's normal, but he won't oggle. If we are watching a film I'll sometimes say 'she's stunning' and sometimkes he'll agree, sometimes he won't.

However if he kept on checking out a girls backside in my prescence I'd find that very disrespectful.

maycontainstress · 06/02/2007 11:28

I agree with TeeCee. My DP is the same, he does look in a subtle way, so much so that I barely notice. That's cool. Not if he was actualy gawping. Then I'd be annoyed.

hunkermunker · 06/02/2007 11:30

Agree with TC. There are loads of threads lately about men who behave not badly enough to be shot, but definitely disrespectfully. Saddens me, actually.

FatFikAndFugly · 06/02/2007 11:38

Think you have a point Hunker, I also think that it's down to the fact that it's become a culture where men don't think twice about looking at women in that way, what with weekly mags like Zoo and Nuts.. girls wearing less at younger ages. I think we are possibly breeding a culture where men and the women they are looking at think it's acceptible.

TeeCee · 06/02/2007 11:48

I'd actually think it slightly odd if my DP, or any other person in the room didn't look up if a stunning woman walked in. However anything other than an admiring look would be deemed disrespectful.

I mean I expect people to look up when I walk in so it's only fair that it's the same for other stunning looking women

Original poster

windsmeup · 06/02/2007 11:50

I agree singled out it's not a huge breaking up issue, but we did nearly split up before xmas and I have told him I still don't feel that special to him, and this sort of behaviour only emphasises this, he is/was still a Zoo/Nuts reader too

It's like he can't help himself around attractive women, and I wish he didn't feel the need to behave like that, as apparently the majority of men aren't like this

OP posts:

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