I'm miserable.
Been together for 5 years and have 2 dc under 2.
Things started going sour after dc1 was born and I didn't want to have sex that much which caused a few frustrated arguments but he has become more accepting now.
He's been diagnosed with depression once before.
When he had it all family members were told and he had a lot of support. When I had pnd I had no support and just had to get on with it.
He's never been happy since he's been working and has had 6 different jobs in the time we've been together. It's a demanding job and he works Monday - Friday 8-5.
He acts as if his home life is really hard when in actual fact he comes home, sees the children for max 1.5hrs before they go to bed, he cooks us tea whilst i put dc to bed then we sit and relax for the rest of the evening. Weekends are busy but nice, he does seem to resent the amount of effort it is to look after 2 young children. Everyday tasks like cleaning up after a messy lunch whilst both dc are whinging stress him out.
Every job he does at home is greeted with a sigh and he gets in a mood about washing up. Everything for him is an effort.
The other night I woke up to dc1 screaming so I went in and he was in there sternly telling dc1 he needed a drink. Dc1 was in a state, coughing and crying, trying to get out of his hold. I scooped him up and cuddled him, calmed him down and gave him his inhaler, it was an asthma attack. Dp was angry that he couldn't get him to drink and stormed out the room.
His discipline is telling him no then shouting when dc1 doesn't listen. He gets wound up and stressed when dc1 is acting up. He doesn't try and distract anymore or follow through with anything because it's easier to shout and be angry and upset a 2 year old. Dc1 is always worse when dp is home.
He is so messy to live with and all maintenance is up to me. It wouldn't enter his head to pick something up off the floor or wipe the cooker down after cooking.
I'm so sick of having to deal with a miserable man who acts like his children are a burden and that his life is so hard. He actually enjoys his job but he hates having to do anything.
I realise he isn't happy himself, I do understand that. But after so many years of living with someone like this I am so drained and sick of living like this and having to mother someone else taking on all the work of maintaining a home whilst he can mope and feel sorry for himself.
He sulks at me a lot now because I'm not very affectionate with him but to be honest I'm put off him from all of this and it's hard to be loving to someone who is acting like this.
I really don't know if I have the energy to fix this again. We've been here so many times before and it's starting to be a pattern. I don't want the rest of my life to be about trying to make my dp happy because he can't be happy of his own accord. That sounds awful I know. It'll only be a matter of time before it starts affecting the dc.